Friday, December 31, 2010

9 Podcasts well worth your time (or at least mine)

So, this year I really started to become super interested in listening to good podcasts.  I am a Ranger and so I spend a lot of time by myself, driving and hiking and boating and whatnot and I get lonely and need some type of human companionship. So, instead of creating little people out of rocks and sticks and making clothing for them from dried up leaves and designer mushroom shoes, I listened to music.  Even that wasn't enough and eventually I needed some other type of human contact than getting yelled at by the Indian woman behind the counter at the gas station for using the bathroom without buying anything in the store.  So, I decided to give in and listen to podcasts. 

I had been resistant to listen to podcasts, that was obviously what hipster ipod owners did.  I was much cooler with my Sony Walkman mp3 player (which are no longer in peace sony walkman), and I was intimidated by such tight pants and utter and total disregard for almost all things, so like many other people I decided I was too good for podcasts.

Finally, after making friends with a squirrel that I later saw get hit by a car the next day, I decided I needed some type of interaction and since I wasn't getting a partner any time soon (we rangers work solo, the whole "lone ranger" thing, you know?) and I didn't really want to look for a new job.  So, the interactions I chose?  Podcasts and audiobooks.  People telling me about other people.  So, lots of interactions, right?  I wouldn't need my dead squirrel buddy or highly classy mushroom shod minions to keep me company anymore as I patrolled the long days and afternoons of the mighty watershed.

She never fooled us because she could never fool herself

Ah, the last day of 2010.  This is it.  All regrets and accomplishments for 2010 in the bin.  It's not so bad, really.  Another year, a fresh start. And the Sci-Fi Movie Marathon!  Woot!  Who's excited? 

I really don't have much to say on this last day of 2010.  I always feel that something monumental should be said on the last day of the year, something moving and important.  But unfortunately I have nothing moving or particularly important to say.  I guess I'll leave that to someone else. 

I really have zombies on the mind...I can't seem to shake them.  I GMed gamma world last night and it was totally plants vs zombies themed. Kind of.  I really like all the player characters we have so far, they are pretty awesome.  The Vic is a giant plucked turkey named Dr. Horrible who uses a Tesla coil to speak.  Ry is a kitty android named Neko-Bot 2000 who goes between super smart robot to irritating cat-person.  The NPC I made is a Russian rock woman who thinks everything can be related to bears and safe like houses.  But, lots of zombies in the game so far.  So, why am I so obsessed with zombies?  I hope I'm not a fortune teller and am predicting the coming zombie Apocalypse of 2011. 

I know it's been done before but perhaps I'll write up my own personal zombie survival guide.  Like, my own personal plan on how I'll deal with the zombie Apocalypse of 2011.  It could be my first post of 2011...A public service announcement if you will. 

And, just to keep in the feel of things, you're zombie song of the day:

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Find a cure for my life, 2o1o laundry list

Here is a rundown of points of interest in my life in 2o1o:

-read and kept track of 75+ books
-hosted a pretty kick ass (if i do say so myself) alice in wonderland party
-saw Alton Brown live
-cooked what i watched Alton make live
-went to 3 wine tastings, got inebriated at 3 wine tastings
-organized a sucessful suprise party for ry's 31st birthday
-tried out for roller derby
-went to california
-went to gilroy garlic festival
-almost got left by the side of the road in CA for singing in the car
-wrote blog all year
-repaired a broken friendship
-kept my child alive and unneglected for the entire year (mostly).
-completed an undeveloped program at work for the EPA and a 22 page plan that accompanies it that I'm pretty proud about.
-joined a gym then hardly ever went
-went to put in bay for work and it was awesome
-got hit on by a younger dude at put in bay all night.
-still failed at finding out who I am and want to be. I'll work on that.
-learned how to be comfortable in fine dining establishments
-saw a few of my very favorite bands (birthday massacre and dommin)
-created a zombie game (albeit not an entirely original one)
-drove off with the gas pump still in my vehicle at work, spraying gushers of gasoline everywhere.
-organized another year of awesome haunted house road trips, including a trip to the super duper awesome haunted hoochie.
-did not sell my "vacation home" as the guys at work call the condo (wanna buy it? Please?)

There' prob more, if I think of more ill comment them. Do you have any i missed?
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Here's your music for today.  Enjoy more zombies.  I'm dwelling, I know.  I can't seem to get zombies out of my brain.  Get it? yeah? do ya? okay. 

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Nobody likes you when your dead, that's the story of my life

Sigh.  More new years resolutions?  Yegads.  I suppose we should get this over with. 

You know, I really should write these down when I think about them since I always think of them while I'm out but as soon as I sit down I forget them all.  Cause I'm dumb.  Hmm...since I am sitting here really trying to think, I'll review yesterdays...excercise, food and blogging.  Hmm...

Oh, I got one.  I'm gonna try to pack my lunch more often.  I'm gonna put that one in category #2, the possibly maybe category. Wasn't that boring?  Screw this post, it's boring as eff. 

Maybe I should make a new years resolution to only post quality blogs in 2011. :/

Anyway, here's your music, zombie themed once again.  Gonna try to get a list of accomplishments from this year up either today or tomorrow.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I'm so sick of you, so sick of me, I don't want to be with me

New Years Resolutions List.  I'm working on the list in three categories.  The first category is "things that are on the list that are absolutely not going to happen but I secretly wish I could commit to".  The second category is "stuff that is possible but probably not going to happen".  The third list is the realistic list of "what I am willing to commit to 1oo%".  So far it's a sad, sad list.

So, I figured that I will just list a few things a day until actual new years when I might make a decision on what I will like to accomplish as resolutions next year.  These are in no particular order, btw.

1.  I'd like to find a sport or some excersize that I don't completely hate so I have fun and lose some of this winter fat I'm accumulating.  This is probably one of the most common and generic resolutions ever, honestly.  But I guess it wouldn't be much of a list if I didn't have it on here. This is probably going on the first list, the not going to happen at all you big fat schmuck. 

2.  I'd like to make one cookbook recipe a week all year.  I'm gonna start out with Alton Brown but I'll switch it around with Michael Simon and some other stuff as I go.  I think I'll count food network magazine and online recipes, too.  I think that this one is in the second list, what I'd like to commit to but...hopefully it happens. That list. 

3.  Continue writing my blog as regularly as possible.  This one is in that third column, something I can commit to 1oo%.  Now, I'm not promising anything good or interesting or anything like that.  I'm only promising that I'll write something.  See, that third list is my throw away list (things I was gonna do anyway but if I make them resolutions it makes me feel like I can get something accomplished).  Also on that list are simple things like continuing to breathe at regular intervals and turning 30.  

Here's a picture of the zen garden I made
myself at work to lighten the mood.

Oh no...turning 30.  Wait, I'm taking that one of the 1oo% list and moving it to the completely gonna suck balls and I'm not doing it list.  I'm not.  I figure I'll turn into a vampire or something so I never turn 30.  Sure, I am not good at late nights and I do enjoy the sunshine, but to not turn 30?  And the whole blood sucking thing?  Eh...It might be worth it if I don't have to turn triple decades old.  Originally I thought about going the way of a zombie but the whole body falling apart brains eating thing is a big deterrant.  Martin told me to be Litch but they look really gross and they are most all evil so I don't think I could do that, either.  So, it's looking like Vampire is my best bet.  Although I wouldn't turn down some form of lycantropy, either.  Unless is was something stupid like, oh, I don't know, wereiguana or something. 

I'm thinking dead and zombie themed songs all week.  You too?  You got it. 


Monday, December 27, 2010

If you think you're hurting now, you ain't seen nothing yet

I was thinking about my new year resolutions this morning.  I have two, maybe three that I have been flirting with.  But the problem with me is that I get really excited about stuff initially and then if I don't do it right away, I am not excited about it anymore and I gradually just don't do it.  But, if I do it right away and keep at it, I'll keep it up.  Here are some examples. 

Dieting:  So, I'll get super excited like "oh, I'm gonna lose a million pounds and be super awesome at this" and I'll go to the store and  buy half a million pounds of healthy food.  Then I'll get home and do really good for three days.  Until Ry has something yummy and delicious.  Or I get a craving for french fries.  Or I'm working and I don't have a refrigerator at work to keep my lunch because my old boss stole it to put in her office even though there is another fridge about 10 feet from her office (true story) and then it's all down hill from there.  It's the slippery fry slope right back to my horrible eating habits.  I really do want to eat better to set a good example for Bear so he doesn't grow up learning that good food is garbage food. Why do they make french fries taste so good?????

Exercise:  Man, here is one I'm pretty mixed bag on.  I mean, I hate being/feeling fat.  Which is constantly in my life except for my short foray into roller derby, when I actually felt really good (I am planning on going back when Bear is older and doesn't care if I'm around or not).  So, I hate exercise.  If I know it's exercise I really really really don't want to do it. See, derby was nice because I didn't realize I was working out, it was fun.  But the exercise bike at home...well, it and I have a love hate relationship at best.  Mostly it's just a hate relationship.  I try to trick myself into thinking that it's not exercise if I'm watching TV or reading a book, but my mind is smarter than I give it credit for sometimes. Like, I'll be pedalling away watching TV and then all of a sudden I realize that my feet are moving the pedals something close to one rotation a minute or something, and then I have to start all over again. 

Ideas or Projects:  So, I get super pumped about something and I want to do it immediately.  So maybe I start it (if I can't start it right away, it just never happens, really) and I'll be all excited about it.  Then, as long as I can keep doing it a little every day, I'll totally make some progress and feel really good about it.  But if for some reason I have to stop for any extended period of time, forget about it.  It's history, it's in the past.  I may even want to come back to it but I'll never be able to find the time to do it.  Or maybe in six months I'll get super excited about it again and the whole cycle will start over again. 

So, I'm thinking about my resolutions with a lot of consideration of myself included.  Hopefully I can keep my new years resolution.  I mean, I did keep this one, I wrote my blog mostly consistently (I mean consistent in amount of posts, not quality of posts, most of my blog posts suck and are pretty boring, so maybe I do mean consistently in quality, too.  Poor quality). 

I'll list them resolutions maybe tomorrow...I need to think on them.  I don't want to get all crazy with my list and make them completely unrealistic for me.  Like, for you, something like "I'm gonna do the dishes everyday" might be realistic but for me that sounds like it sucks massive balls and I am not gonna do it. 

eh, list tomorrow. 

Here's your gosh darn music, stop harassing me.  Seriously.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

I could teach you a thing or two...

Good morning after christmas morning.  It's just as early as it was when I woke up yesterday.  I couldn't sleep the night before Christmas, I was just stressed out and worked up and in battle mode and there was no relaxing for me.  So I was up way early and before anyone else in my house. 

I'll just leave it at Christmas was busy, hecktic, asher refused to nap, stressful but not horrible. 

I'm really not feeling working today, it's waaaay cold out and it's still dark and it's sunday.  a combination of those things has driven me into a deep need for a nice hot bath, some awesome hot tea and fuzzy pajama pants. 

This year was the gift of cooking for me.  I got 7, count them, 7 cook books.  One a baking book (score!)  Three alton brown books (triple score!) and a michael simon book with cooking lessons from him!  I get this feeling that people think I don't cook enough.  What do you think?  I also got season 2 of good eats.  Awesome. 

there is some humor in the holidays, I'm sure I can find it for you in a post soon, just not today, i'm so cold and tired I can't be funny. 

Friday, December 24, 2010

You be my ginger bread and I'll be your candy cane

Yeah, had a great day yesterday.  The first really good day in a while.  I owned with Hopkins at Euchre yesterday, we were an unstoppable duo.  No one could contend with us.  A force to be reckoned.  We won 5 out of 5 games we played.  I had a beautiful loner hand (which I was too wimpy to actually go loner on....).  It was awesome.  Also won a sock full of spare change and some soco!  Then, we hung out at the Morrison Clan's new place and Mr. and Mrs. Morrison watched Bear and Athena and we went to Vegiterranian, Chrissie Hinyd's vegan restaurant.  It was so good.  And I gave Ann maple syrup cotton candy and I think I might be able to claim best xmas gift she got so far.  That one might be hard to top...

Maybe I give myself too much credit.  But surely, it's mostly in jest.  Mostly.  

I have a pretty big headache today but I'm not gonna let it ruin my day, seriously, it's gonna be another kick ass day.  It is.  I just have that feeling.  

Some music?  Here you go....

Asians in spacesuits.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

We are calling from the tower, expressing what must be everyone's opinion

TV BF and I had a nice conversation in the car this morning on the way to work.  She doesn't think I'm touched in the head but of course she would say that since she's a figment of my imagination.  If I realized that I was actually touched in the head I would have to get help and then she would probably (just like hobbes for Calvin) be electroshocked out of my head and I would be left just a shell of a person.  It really is sad, which is why she must continue to convince me that she really would like a cup of Columbian Blend with marshmallow and half and half. Poor Jill.  Oh, that's her name.  Internet, I'd like you to meet Jill.  Jill, the six people on the internet who read my blog.  Good, now you've been introduced.

I might not have the opprotunity to write a whole lot over the next couple of days, I'll be busy with the holidays.  Try not to miss me too much.  I know it's hard.  You're day just isn't complete until you get to read these sacred words that fall from my head like tetris pieces at random.  Too bad no one is playing the game, organizing my thoughs, they just pile up on the bottom of the screen until in a jumbled mess they reach the top and then the game is over. Oh, poor tetris thoughts.  So abused. 

This is really disjointed.  Here's another snow vs water picture.

And your music today, it's been stuck in my head for days now.  I really am debasing myself with the bloodhound gang, and I just don't care.  It's amazing.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Cause I'm gonna do the things that I want to do, I ain't got a thing to prove to you

So last night while I was wasting time painting my toenails (wasting time since no one will see the toenails I painted except for those who live with me and myself) a color called "morbid" and then painting over that with glow in the dark finger nail polish and then another coat of lacquer, well, I imagined myself doing it with my best friend. 

So, here's the kicker.  I don't really have a best friend.  I used to have one.  I had two one time, back in the day.  I have none now.  But, that's not what is really bad, or sad, about the whole thing.  The sad part of this story is that I spent 40 minutes fantasizing about my TV best friend.  I call her my 'TV bestfriend' because TV has completely ruined my idea of friendship.  Here's a list of why. 

Me owning 'morbid'
colored fingernails
1.  In my fantasy world, my TV best friend always wants to hang out with me.  We do all sorts of stuff together, like painting toe nails.  In fact, she gave me a pep talk last night about how I should paint my fingernails to match.  I told her that painting your fingernails a color called 'morbid' and then 'glow in the dark' would be kind of juvenile.  She told me that it would only be juvenile if I let it, and that it would work if I 'owned it'.  I told her that I would.  So I painted my finger nails a color called 'morbid' and I plan on owning it. 

2.  My TV best friend wants to hang out with me when she is sad.  We cry together and she bitches about her love live (or lack there of) and how men are jerks and we watch sappy movies together while eating popcorn (she drizzles hers in chocolate when she's sad).  We discuss things over tea and we recommend books to eachother and then talk about them afterwards. 

3.  Coffee shops.  Man, we hang out in coffee shops like hipsters (we aren't hipsters, though, we are way too cool for that pretentiousness).  We are so super cool.  She drinks Columbian house blend with two shots of marshmellow and half and half.  I get a pumpkin latte with soy.  Sometimes we play the last letter movie game.  Sometimes we talk about work or what not and sometimes we just people watch. 

4.  My TV bestfriend and I get into fights over stupid stuff but we always resolve it within the half hour time frame and are closer afterwards because of it. 

5.  She is funny and clever, very smart and charismatic.  I wonder why she has such bad luck with men, she's such a good person.  She is really cute and pretty but she is strong willed and doesn't let anyone take advantage of her.  I guess men are intimidated by her because she is so independant. 

So, there, my unrealistic TV best friend.  Now, the real question is am I touched in the head that I spend my time talking to her and getting her advice and pretending we do all these super cool things together?  She and I are planning a road trip, a weekend trip to someplace super awesome.  We haven't decided yet where we want to go, if we want to drive or pay the money to fly just to be somewhere more fun and exotic. 

Okay, yes, I am probably touched in the head.  The sad thing is that I just made up TV BF yesterday.  While painting my toenails.  But we made friends fast and we are tight like this *fingers crossed*.  That tight. 

Here's another picture of my snow vs water drawing that was added to by other AWS employees:
And here is Bath of Fire by PUSA because I love it and I can.  It's my blog. 

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Put the you know what in the you know where

So, yeah.  Everyone is in a rush this morning at work.  Not sure what that's about.  Usually to get anyone moving around here before 8 am is like hearding cats that are also on fire.  But without most of the drama that hearding flaming cats would give you.  (probably)

I'm pretty tired today, Bear keeps waking up at 4 am, it's been four days in a row now.  It's getting very stressful. 

You know what?  I've got nothing useful to contribute to society today so I'm just gonna call it quits for now and listen to some Bloodhound Gang to get myself motivated.  Or just debase myself.  Either way I win.

Monday, December 20, 2010

You're goddamn right it's a beautiful day, uh huh

Greetings and Salutations.  It's monday again.  But today is Monday before Christmas.  It's going to be so super busy this year, it's gonna be like Christmas week.  I'm super pumped, though.  I'm not really stressed out too much this year, I'm so looking forward to this week.  It all starts on Thursday night we we out with the CA crew for good foods.  Then Friday we hang out with them again before we make the treck to my dad's house.  Sat is Xmas at home and my grandpa's house.  Sunday I have to work, then after I get out of work Xmas at my mom's house. Then either monday or tuesday is xmas with Roro and Richie.  And somewhere in there I'm gonna squeeze in Mz. Brown.  I'm pretty excited. 

The string broke off my teabag in the cup this morning.  Is that a sign of something? I hope it's not bad. 

I have nothing really to say that is either funny or clever.  Sorry about that.  Here is a picture I took of a drawing I made on the dry erase board at work the other day, it's mildly entertaining. 

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Have you ever sat down in the fresh cut grass and thought about the moment and when it will pass

Happy Sunday morning.  Well, not so much happy, just kind of tired and here.  But not bad, either. .

So, I tried to be nice but I failed.  I wasn't even trying to be mean, it just happened.  So, I figure that I am just not internet nice.  It makes me sad but... (and some people are just overly sensitive). 

So, I was thinking about what makes a super duper nicest person ever kind of person.  Here is the impromptu list I came up with: 

1.  Being nice to everyone equally (including bad drivers, people who type in all caps and yourself). See, here is where I am not nice at all, I failed the including list by all three....

2.  Not getting mad at people just for annoying you.  Or at least not getting visibly mad at them.  Outright. But the perfect nice person wouldn't get mad at anyone ever, they would always forgive and forget and be all loving and sappy all the time. Yeah....I fail here, too. I am an open book of emotions most of the time.  You just don't know which page to turn to...

3.  Thinking about others and considering their feelings and not being selfish.  Here is another problem...I often don't realize that what I do and say hurt other people's feelings.  I don't try to do just happens. My super power is social akwardness and saying inappropriate things at inopprotune times.  I think my filter is clogged and bypassed.

Well, that's my list of the super nicest and bestest person ever.  I am aware that it's unrealistic but what can you expect, it's like, 730 on sunday morning.  I'm not going to be super awesome at writing this early.  And it's cold outside and I'm feeling pretty fat.  I hate the winter, I want to go out and get some excersize but it's sooo cold and I end up just wanting to stay inside and read in bed.  I hate the cold.  It's so....cold.  You know?

Friday, December 17, 2010

I spent the weekend hanging round your trailer

So, I guess I was kinda mean yesterday.  So, this is my nice person post to make up for it.  Yup.  Here is me being completely nice and friendly.  Loving everyone and all that.  And loving them equally (even bad drivers and people who use all caps on the internet), not loving this person over here with too strong hug fierceness but that one over there only just a teensy weensy bit (which is probably all they deserve, but I promised I would love them all equally). 

I'm repenting for being mean.  I'm sorry.  And, you know I am.  I feel the guilt.  I'm born and bred to feel it. And feel it I do.  Mighty powerful.  I might have been lying about loving everyone equally but I really did try to do it.  So, in efforts to keep this blog as nice and loving as possible I am keeping it short.  But I'll draw a picture of my equal love.    For some reason people receiving my rainbow love powers are all holding hands like a hands across American ad campaign.  That must just be how motivated they are by my love. 

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Hard hearted don't worry, I'm ready for a fight

I hate when people type in all capital letters on then internet.  It just makes you look angry and/or dumb.  Usually both.  Jeanie (a girl who I'm really not that fond of anyway) always posts stupid comments on my friend Ann's facebook page just because Ann said one nice thing to her once in her life and she has a little baby girl.  Ann does not like Jeanie.  But she tolerates her for who knows what reason. *Edit--  So, here is where I should say that I probably shouldn't speak in other people's voices for things that are true for not them but myself.  Sorry Ann.  It's not Ann that doesn't like her, it's kinda me, and it's because she has been mean and kinda hateful to me since the moment she met me.  So it's obvious why I don't feel that we have lots of love and happy feelings for each other.  I think that's enough explaining myself and rectifying that Ann does not dislike Jeanie.  But I do.* Here is one of her stupid comments all in caps on Ann's husband's fb page:

What does going to Europe have to do with watching finding nemo?  I haven't seen the movie, maybe it is relevant.  But, bad grammar, horrible misspellings, too much punctuation, it's kind of like reading my blog.  But only if I WROTE MY BLOG IN ALL CAPITOL LETTERS ALL THE TIME, CAUSE THIS ISN'T REALLY ANNOYING OR RUDE OR ANYTHING.  And it totally doesn't make me look angry or dumb at all.  Nope.  So, when I saw her comment on two other posts in all caps I just asked her nicely (I thought it was nicely, I didn't use the internet etiquette of profanity and l33t sp34k...) to take caps lock off.  Here, you can be the judge:
So, whatever... she is going to be a loud dumb angry idiot still and she will misspell it just to make her point even louder and dumber.  I hate the internet.  Or rather, I hate the stupid self righteous people on the internet.  Boy, doesn't that sound like I'm being self righteous?  I guess I hate myself, too. 

This video is one I reposted on facebook yesterday but it made me feel really good.  I actually watched it four times yesterday and I think I'll probably watch it again a bunch today.  So, I'm sharing here, too.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I've been for a walk on a winters day

So, I hate bad drivers in the snow.  Why don't you know how to drive in the snow yet?  I can't give you the excuse that it's you forgot how to drive because it's the first snow of the year.  We have had three snow events now, you should be used to it!  Maybe you just need some help, here, take my advice for driving in snow in Ohio.  If you suck at snow driving, please take it to heart. 

1.  If you suck at driving in the snow and you know it, do not drive.  At all.  Hire a driver.  Or get a taxi.  Or stay home.  Or walk.  I don't care how you get anywhere, just don't drive.

2.  If you think you are really good at driving in the snow and take the back roads but only drive 10 miles an hour the whole way, you are not good at driving in the snow.

3. If you think you are really good at driving in the snow and you take the back roads and drive 50 miles an hour the whole way, you are not good at driving in the snow and you are a giant clitoris.

4.  If you have a big truck or SUV that does not automatically give you the right to drive as if the snow was not on the road.  Or the right to drive in the middle of the road even when there is oncoming traffic in the other lane.  I laugh twice as long and hard when I pass your stupid ass in the ditch a little further down the road.

5.  If you are having a hard time getting traction, kick it into one of the additional D gears you have.  That's what they are there for.  You know the ones I mean?  The ones you have never used before in your life?  If you have an automatic transmission car, they are the bottom two or three, just below the drive gear that is marked D.  Here's what it looks like:
6.  If you know you suck at driving and you still have to drive, follow these simple rules: drive on the main roads.  They get plowed first and more often.  Back roads are not your friends.  If you have to drive back roads, put on your hazzards if you are going to drive like an idiot.  And let me pass you.  And don't be mad when I pass you.  Because you shouldn't be driving anyway.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

And, well, things they tend to accumulate

Just got done shoveling all of the snow in kent.  At least, it feels like it.  My hands are permanent claws now from all the snow shoveling.  And that doesn't even begin to clear the snow in my driveway.  Where is a nice young do-gooder to come and do a random act of kindness for me? Oh well, I guess that he helps them who help herself. 

So, little bear is a little typhoid Mary.  Man, he seems to infect everyone he sees.  And even people he doesn't.  It's crazy.  I hope its finally over. 

So, I need some input...I am very angry a lot a work.  I don't want to be angry at work.  So, I need some type of creative outlet that I can do at work that doesn't involve the internet to help me relax and burn off tension and anger.  Any suggestions?  I had thought about getting a small sandbox in my office and making a zen garden...

Monday, December 13, 2010

The end is quite near, the hour is in fact, is quite here.

It's snowing balls out today.  I'm gonna get ready to go out in about half an hour or so....Wish me luck. 

So, I guess that yesterday with Santa Bear had a breakdown of massive proportions.  And he pooped all over ry (had a diaper malfunction).  So, a failure in all senses of the word.  Then my mother was supposed to watch him last night but was acting all weird like she didn't want to and I almost had to hit her over the head.  But she did watch him and Ry and I went with the lorenzes and Rella and his new gf Rose of Sharon to Downtown 140 in Hudson.  It was good but I liked what I had better last time.  Also, there was a live band and it was too loud, that space is too small for a live band.  It was cute, all the old people would clap after each song like we were not eating dinner but actually at a place to just watch some jazz musicians with mullets. 

here's a pic from cookie day, I'll have more eventually.  Nevermind, facebook won't let me download my own pictures.  How lame. 

Anyway...Had a dream that I was in a tube shaped elevator with a girl I didn't know and the cable snaped and we fell like seven stories.  We ended up being trapped in the elevator and even though the doors were transparent plastic of some sort we couldn't get anyone to notice us.  So we busted out the top and ended up travelling the elevator shaft's maintence area where we found a dwarf.  I'm not being insensitive, it was an actual dwarf like gimli or a dnd dwarf, big full beard, hand axe, shield, all that.  He started wandering the tunnels with us and we didn't find our way out.  I don't know what that means at all. 

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Back in the day when I was a teenager, before I had status and before I had a pager

So, just a quick post.  Today at work was blah.  The weather sucks, it started out raining and now it's snowing and we are supposed to get a shitton of snow tonight. 

I'll write about Asher's experience with Santa Claus at the American Legion tomorrow perhaps.  I wasn't there so it will be all second hand story telling, I hope that doesn't tarnish it for you. 

Some words that have stuck with me today: Lands End, Argulia, Nightmare.  I don't know, they are in my thoughts for some reason.  Maybe I need to write.  Maybe I will.  Also the visual image of a cemetary in a basement of some huge old rubber baron's home, all the stones identical and symetrical. 

Here's your video.  I'm in a Type O Negative mood today. 

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Bitter heart, bitter heart, tries to keep it all inside

So, it seems that this bug we had is really making it's way around.  I wasn't even near the vic all week and he still got it, presumably from someone else.  So, he won't be coming to cookie day.  Sad times.  Oh well, I guess, what can you do?  Nothing but puke it all away.  

In other news today, cookie day!  Yeah!  I'm excited.  I love the holidays and I really feel like I haven't been able to connect with the season in years.  I know that with Bear it will be easier and all of my long distance friends coming back soon and everything, I'm really excited.  I got my christmas music CD all ready to go (thanks Pumpa!) and everything is pretty much in place...Gah, I'm so excited.  Friends, baking, cookies, christmas music, and bear.  What else do I need to feel the yuletide joy?  

Hmm....maybe some wine. I'll work on it.  We have dinner reservations at downtown 140 with the lorenzes tomorrow, that will be awesome, and Bear gets to see his first Santa tomorrow while I'm at work, I hope that goes well...And we are supposed to get a shit ton of snow tomorrow so hopefully the lorenzes can make it out.  

Okay, I have dished to do for the cookie capers extravaganza....

here's your video today: 

Friday, December 10, 2010

Cause even if that homie got shot, then there'd still be the bump knocking in your trunk get you out your funk

Well, I think the sickness has finally passed our house.  According to the most reliable source on the internet for all things of medical nature (web md, and this is partially sarcasm) since asher had a relatively normal poo this morning he is no longer considered contagious from the stomach virus, also known as rotovirus (maybe).  So, maybe, just maybe, I'll be allowed to see people for the first time this week.  I'm not very good at not being socially interactive with people.  It makes me sad.  And I've been pretty sad.  I even had self pitying dreams.  How pathetic is that?  Here's the dream from last night: 

So, all my friends (the ohio ones) are at Cedar Point with me.  Except I couldn't find them forever.  And then, when I did find them they were all together and they couldn't make up their minds what they wanted to do.  So, I said I'd like to ride the Maverick because I still never have rode it.  My brother acted like he wanted to ride it but then he went over and sat by Rachel who didn't really want to ride it.  JJ was in the bathroom and no one wanted to make a decision before she got back.  Martin wanted to do the opposite of anything I suggested.  Ry said he would do whatever I wanted to do but then kept leaving.  Jen and Chuck didn't say anything at all.  I suggested we split up and no one wanted to do that. Jeh and Steph kept going off on their own to play the games and win giant stuffed animals.  My brother told me to stop being so over dramatic and just hang out, it doesn't matter if we go ride the maverick or not, I can ride it next time.  I told him we say that every time.  Hence, the being over dramatic.  So, finally I left by myself and rode the racing carousel but it was different, the animals moved more similar to real life, so the eagle I was on kind of flew, it was pretty cool.  But by the time I got off the ride all my friends had gone and I couldn't find anyone. 

So, yes, I guess I'm being stupid and over sensitive to shit, even in my dreams.  I just need to see some people, you know?  And of course it's snowing again. Why won't it stop snowing?  Ry needs to fix the snow blower.  I'm pretty tired of our long ass driveway and shoveling it out every freakin day.  Seriously. 

Hopefully we can get some work done on the cleveland book tonight.  That's the plan, at least.  

Anyway, I feel this post is getting out of hand.  Here's your video for today. 

Thursday, December 9, 2010

It's 16 muthafuckin godamn bits

So, firstly lets start off with a correction from yesterday's post. I was wrong about the flu shot, I don't have the flu I have a stomach virus so the flu shot is not effective towards that.  So, good for me, I don't have the flu.  Flu shot for the win!  Unfortunately for me, I had a stomach virus. And so did Asher and Ry.  Both of them seem to be feeling better today, Bear is a little fussy today but he's demanding to eat again so that must be good, right?  I just want to point out that since Ry was more sick than me, I decided that I rolled higher on my Fortitude save than he did.  And he has a ridiculously high fortitude, unlike me, I think my fortitude is only like 15 but ry's must be like 24.  So, he must have rolled like, a 2 or something.  I usually roll the 2 so I'm pretty happy about that for me but not so much for Ry. 

Anyway, I had to call off again today because Roro and gramps both have the stomach virus now, too.  So, hopefully since we are all better and I cleaned the bathrooms really good with bleach that nothing will be transferred to people on cookie day. I'm gonna clean a bunch more but bear is being super clingy and won't hang out with daddy at all today.  I tried to go out and shovel and someone had a massive meltdown. 

Bear is driving me crazy today. 

I'm done.  Here's your video for today. 

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The day has finally come, now I can say, it's over, I'm done.

Well, Ry has the flu.  He started feeling pretty bad last night and was puking just before we put bear to bed.  The in the middle of the night I started feeling bad, and I didn't throw up but it went the other way if you know what I mean?  You do.  Anyway, so we both called off this morning.  Roro came and picked up Bear which was tearful and made me feel like shit, he was crying and saying "i'm sorry, I'm sorry" as roro took him to the car.  Yup, I am a horrible mother.  But, I've spent the morning in the bathroom or in bed.  Awesome.  I'm glad I didn't go get my tattoo last night, now.  I think I would have just been more miserable, plus I might have passed this horrid condition on to other people.  I am praying that Bear does not get it.  I think the reason I didn't get it nearly as bad was because I got the flu shot this year.  This is twice this year I've had the flu, I had it in January, too.  

So, I mentioned in there I did not get the tattoo last night, either.  I guess it will happen.  I have no idea when.  Why is it that when other people want to do things, they just do them.  With me, it takes planning and then plans fall through or it's a blizzard out or whatever (it's currently a blizzard out).  

Speaking of that, why won't it stop snowing?  I spent an hour shoveling the driveway yesterday and it looked so good when I was done (shoveling by hand, mind you, if i ever buy another house the driveway will be miniscule) and now there's another six inches of snow down.  Screw you, snow.  My back hurts from so much snow shoveling.  And I'm gonna have to go out and do it again today, even though I'm not feeling great, because Ry is still pretty worse off than me.  Oh well.  I also have to go get bear soon.  

I think we must have about 20 inches of snow here now.  I had a feeling we would have a pretty heavy snow filled winter, with the drought like conditions of late summer and all of fall.  

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Unbeknownst to those below, the innocent are free to go, unviolated

White Chocolate Covered Oreos 2.o
Good morning.  I got to shovel a huge path of snow from the intake, it was like a football field of 15 inch snow removal. Good times.  And that's just the beginning, I still have more snow to move! Gah.  Winter in Ohio as a ranger.

Ranger fight in the office this morning, and for once I was acutally on the underdog's team. Believe that?  Yup, it's a weird day for sure. 

Bear slept through the night!  Yeah!  He had a bit of a fever today but it went down so I went to work and he went to grandmas.  I think he's feeling a bit better but now daddy is feeling sick.  I need to stay strong!

I want to go get my tattoo tonight but it won't stop snowing! I want the boys to go with me because I like the company (I'm a big fan of having people hang out with me while in pain to distract me from the pain, at least that worked well last time) and because I'm a bit of a wimp.  I could def do it by myself this time, though.  I'm feeling pretty independent lately, like I could maybe be self reliant?  Maybe.  I'm working on it.  

Anyway...I should get to work.   Cookie Day is Saturday!  Yea!  I'm gonna make molassas cookies. Yum.

Monday, December 6, 2010

And you, you take me the way I am

So, I am officially on a sick/snow day off from work.  It's snowing balls outside, too.  But that's not why I called off.  Ry called off, too, actually.  It's because we had a wonderful trip to Akron Children's ER last night around 3 am in horrible road and weather conditions.  It was super awesome.  Basically Bear wakes up screaming at 12:00 am.  And screaming, nothing we could do would calm him down so at 2:30 I called the nurse hotline and they told us to take him to the ER, but one where there was a pediatrician.  So, we drive all the way out to Akron Childrens in this horrible weather and horrible roads and of course Asher calmed down and was cool in the car. We get to the ER and man, our attending physician was a weirdo.  Our resident was pretty awesome but our attending?  I guess that's what you get on third shift perhaps?  After making bear cry a bunch and then eventually causing him to bite a blood blister into his lip the determination was that bear is completely fine.  

So crazy attending dr comes in and tells us that if we have been giving bear benedryl that that combined with his cold is giving him night terrors.  Some how I don't believe this.  Especially since I did not give him benedryl last night, he had it the night before.  I don't know what happened last night it sucked.  We tried everything, rocking him, rubbing his back, bringing him into our bed, sitting up with him, laying down with him, tried giving him medicine he wouldn't take, tried giving him juice that he was crying for but wouldn't drink it.  It was horrible.  

Sorry this post is all over the place.  I'm having a hard time concentrating, we got home at 5:30 and then asher woke up at 9.  So, operating on fumes.  Yeah...gah.  Um, i don't know if that covers it or not. I'm sorry.  I'll try again later probably.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

I saw a girl flying through the sky and I looked up her skirt

Good morning.  So...let's get right into it, eh?

Parties!  Two of them, one better than the other.  So, first we went to my dad's house where guilt was mildly spread on my cracker of life.  We had to leave before Santa got there because I had to have Bear over to the babysitter by 6:30 so we wouldn't be late for the bowling party at 7.  Food was pizza and stuff so that was nice.  The main problem I had was that I only knew a few people at this gathering at my dad's house, everyone there were strangers.  I felt uncomfortable since I didn't know anyone but my step brother and his family and my dad and joyce.  It was weird. 

Anyway, and here's where it's gonna take a while to get through....bear with me, it's a good story I think.  So, we show up at the bowling alley at 7, JJ is waiting for us and The vic pulled in when we did but no one else is there yet.  It's packed.  I mean, every lane is full up.  We come to find out that it's league night.  I had asked Bobo (the girl not the monkey) to check it out for us earlier that week (you know, get a lane or make sure it was available or what have you) but she didn't realize that it was league night.  So, we stood in the  hallway waiting for everyone to show up and trying to figure out something fun to do that wasn't bowling there.  We actually called up all the bowling alleys we could think of to see if there was some where else we could go but, alas, all the alleys were in leagues. 

So, Stevarella brought his new girlfriend for all of us to meet, her name isn't Rose of Sharon but that's what we will call her for anonymity purposes.  She works at the Ravenna Eagles, which for those of you who don't know what that is, it's like a private club you pay for membership at.  Drinks are super cheap and they generally have a pool table and a jukebox.  So, after much deliberation and direction giving, we head our caravan over thataway.  Rose of Sharon told us that they had one of those old fashioned bowling machines, so that was what sealed the deal for us.  It was just like when me and the shig were kids.  And we are still pretty good at the bowling game, too.  I guess it's like riding a bike.  

Anyway, we get there, start playing, stevarella orders pizza and chicken, and we bowl and drink and play music and have a good time.  

Let me change that.  Most of us had a good time.  Ry was upset because Dave was there.  I want to point out that I'm pretty tired of the whole "must hate dave" thing.  I'm over it.  And if anyone should be the one offended or upset or anything it would be me.  And it's not.  So ry just needs to get over it.  It happened so long ago and I just don't care anymore about it.  I'm tired of not hanging with my friends because ry's  pride is hurt for the last 2 years or something.  So, ry is upset about that, already.  then he's upset because he says that we took over the club (it's a private club, so you know, members pay for the privilege to drink alone) and had a party there.  Honestly there were really only like 6 people in the club and Rose of Sharon worked there so if we were being obnoxious I figured the bartender (who was super nice all night) would tell us to leave or quiet down or something, right?  Right.  And Rose of sharon did tell me I was being obnoxious (I might have said fuck really loud once).  And I apologized and said I wouldn't do it again and things were cool again.  So, Ry brought down my night by being embarrassed of me and upset about Dave and what have you but it was still pretty fun.   

One drunk old dude came over to me after I made the "fuck" incident and tried to talk me up about how everyone was fuddy-duddied and I can say fuck all i want to, hey, do you want this candy cane I had in my nose?  No, dude, I don't, but you stay cool. 

I kinda got pretty inebriated last night.  Hopefully my friends were not annoyed with me.  The only other person really drinking (besides stevarella) was the shig.  Everyone else was not.  So, maybe I was annoying to everyone.  I can never tell, especially when I'm having a good time.  I was a little bummed that The Vic and Bobo (girl not the monkey) were being so standoffish last night, too. I really wanted everyone to have a good time but I'm worried that only me and my brother and stevarella did. 

Oh, did  I mention we made snow angels in the boccie court, too?  It was awesome.  And cold.  It was so cold. 

Lots of fun.  I had to come in to work at 7 am, too.  So, here I am, typing away, somehow still alive and feeling pretty okay all things considering.  I mean, I did have four soco and lime, one shot of jager and two gin and tonics.  That's a shit ton of liquor for me. 

Overall, I think things worked out for the best last night, going to the Eagles really did work out really well.  So all things considering, it was a pretty successful party, except for the few details I mentioned about people being upset or standoffish or what have you. 

Good times. 

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I know you see right through me, there's not promise left to break

So, had a horrible day yesterday.  It started out pretty okay, normal for a day off.  Acutually bear slept in until like 745, which is a marathon of sleep for him. Anyway...went to lunch with a friend from work and lost my wallet in the parking lot.  Didn't realize it until I got home, drove all the way back and it wasn't there.  Had a melt down on my way home because ry lost his bank card last night and neither of us would have our cards to finish the xmas season and it's so inconvenient to not have a card anyway.  and my ID would be gone, and all the other stuff in my wallet and I just kinda freaked out.  And ry was a little harsh to me on the phone during my breakdown.  Asher had fallen asleep in the car and when we got home and I tried to put him to bed he woke up and I spent the next three hours trying (unsuccessfully) to get him to nap.  And each time he cried it just pushed me more over the edge.  So by the time Ry got home last night I was a mess.  Bad night.  I know that none of that seems to overly bad for just one day but I was having an emotional breakdown, I'm not sure why I was so upset yesterday.


Just wanted to quickly update you on that stuffs, you know? I have two xmas parties today, one i want to go to and one i don't.  We will talk tomorrow about those...

I'll post another music video.  I don't know if you guys watch these or not but I like finding them and pretending that people listen to them.  I was pretty disappointed that so few people participated in my music recommendation thing on facebook.  Oh well. 

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Listen to the whisper, whisper to the listening.

Agents of Oblivion today.  I have a weird feeling today.  I don't know myself today.  I think I will spend the day being oblivious to myself today, I don't really want to think about stuff.  You know what I mean? I need to stay distracted.  It should be easy until I finish my audiobook.  that's when it gets hard to not think about things.  The problem is, when I listen to an audiobook I get obsessed with it, I must listen at all given opprotunities.  So, when it's over I kinda get this empty feeling and need to fill it with another audiobook.  One good thing about ABs is that I get tons of house work done without thinking about it.  It's awesome autopilot. 

I'm missing my long distance friends a lot lately.  I'm glad I'll get to see them soon.  It feels like forever.  I wish the holidays weren't so busy.  Maybe we will plan both a trip to NYC and CA again this's expensive but I really really like spending time with both sets of peeps in those areas know...i guess you only live once.  It's not like I want to go on vacation anywhere else anyway, you know?  And other than the long ass plane ride, Bear probably would really want to go back to CA anyway and play with his bff there.  He had such a good time last year.  I would hate to impose on people, though...that's the one thing about traveling and visiting people you know.  It's hard on them because you end up crashing with them (usually) and then they have to play host/hostess to you all week or however long you are there for.  I don't expect that in the least, mind you.  And now with a half pint, well, it just gets harder.  the nice thing about CA is that there is another half pint to keep eachother entertained, so it all works out pretty well.  And lots of toys.  And parents.  So, it's all good there. 

I'm rambling.  Dead girl, there never be, another one that screams like you.  When death sleeps, it dreams of you.  Delilah played the dead girl at the freak show, she smiles like a corpse, like zombies eating dust in mexico. 

Gah.  I miss being younger.  I miss my friends all living here.  You really take that for granted until they are all gone over the country.

Here's some music for you today. 

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

She held a red apple up to my lips

What is better than thank you pumpkin roll for breakfast?  I really don't know. It's so yummy.  All for saving a tire out of a person's yard after a guy named Basil who i work with got in an accident and lost the tire.  I found it and brought it back, no thanks needed, you know?  Then yesterday, I come into work and there is a Thank You Pumpkin Roll waiting for me.  It really does make your morning.  I know what I'm eating for breakfast every day this week!

Just did the sign up for work, had to sign up for 3rd shift.  Joy.  Oh well, Iguess.  It won't start until maybe April, maybe not.  Fingers crossed that it doesn't.  Also, I got my very first good review from the city yesterday.  So, like, awesome, right?  I thought so, too. 

Listenting to Tiesto's song with Tegan and Sara, I feel it in my bones, it's so good.  but i was disappointed with the other stuff by Tiesto, it's just background music.  I guess I was hoping he got all sorts of artists to sing and that it wasn't just sound.  Lyrics are very important to me in music.  I can't help it.  It's how I am.  If something sounds awesome but the singing is off or the lyrics suck I know I'll never really really like it. 

Bear is sick with the sniffles and snot factory.  Man, he is snotty.  Poor kid.  He's still too small to really give medicine to, as well, so he's suffering it pretty much on his own.  I did give him the tiniest amount of baby benedryl, hopefully that helps clear up some of the snot?  I don't know, it's what our dr. suggested last time he was sniffly. 

Weird dreams last night, too. I felt really good, really warm when all I remembered about was feeling cold.  I was getting stuff out of the trunk of my car with a guy who I knew but I didn't know.  I really liked him, in that way, and I didn't know if he felt the same.  It was snowing but I didn't need a coat, I was finally warm and everything felt great.  Everything felt right and I really wanted to be there, doing whatever it was that we were going to be doing with that guy.  Then, I was in marching band back in high school.  We were marching down these huge steps into a stadium filled with carpenters building a ton of stuff.  I have no idea where that came from.