Thursday, April 28, 2011

She held a red apple up to my lips

Back to work.  Already my bloodpressure is probably through the roof.  Why can't things be, I don't know, normal?  Like, run like a normal place should be run? 

I'm getting a free health screening (via the city) today so I guess we will see.  They offer these a few times a year and usually I never go but since all the stuff with Katya's mom is happening it makes me a little nervous, so I'll go get my cholesterol scores and my other stuff done.  And it gets me away from here for a little while, which is nice.

New date for backyard opener: May 14th. Cool?

The flowers on my desk are dead.  It's a little sad.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

now i can understand, poor baby im with you for the last time

Took a mental health day today. Ive just been overwhelemed and down lately. I know im being selfish but today is a day just to me. I dont think i have had a day by myself since i was pregnant. I feel a little guilty, like if im off today i should be spedning this time w asher not. Ill make up for it by cleaning this afternoon and grocery shopping. This morning all i did was lay in bed and read smut. It was awesome.

Anyway. I know everything will be just how it is again tomorrow but for today, im being a selfish bitch. Its okay, ive come to terms with it.

See you tomorrow.
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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

We know of an ancient radiation

Is it bad that my boss can make me upset within the first five minutes of my shift?  Or should I just call that a normal day?

Someone commented on my facebook that all these drafts I've been writing for the EPA is similar to being in high school.  Well, my job is similar to being in high school.  Maybe I should have just stuck with my original dream to become a high school science teacher.  I still have dreams.  What's sad is that I probably make equal to or more than a high school science teacher makes right now.  I don't really care about the money, though.  I would have been a pretty cool science teacher, maybe...  Maybe I still could.  Meh..I don't know. 

But the drama at work?  Just like high school.  Only I get paid to go through it, which makes it better than high school, a little. 

Anything else?  I shouldn't have told you guys the story about the flooded office, it was much more interesting when you didn't know all the mundane details.  I'll remember that for next time something vaguely interesting happens to me. I need to keep an air of mystery so you still think I'm cool and interesting. 

Oh, backyard party update:  May 7th is our grand re-opening of our firepit.  You are all invited.  Nothing fancy, maybe smores or hot dogs and probably alcohol. Oh, and fire.  Weather permitting, of course. See you there?

Monday, April 25, 2011

I pity the fool who falls in love with you

Finally Easter is over and we can go on with our lives as normal again.  Perhaps.  Last night on our walk (inbetween rain droplets) I wrote a movie I like to call "Jesus Christ, Graverobbed!" I think the name pretty much sums up most of the movie.  Basically it was all a hoax Oceans 11 style where Jesus's body was graverobbed to make everyone a believer.  Those silly apostles, graverobbing.  I'd make it all cool like Oceans 11, only biblical times.  It'd rock.  I think there aught to be some paganism Easter rituals in it, too, you know, for the ladies.  Ry told me that people would blow me up if I ever made this movie.  It makes me want to make it some more. What'd be really cool is if it was also kinda done Weekend at Bernies style, too.  Oceans 11 meets Weekend at Bernies meets Easter Service.  It'd be super awesome.  You know it.

I'm feeling oddly creative lately, I started writing another book (though I never finished my first one).  I wrote the outline and the basic premise down, as well as drew the outline of the main building it's going to take place in.  I won't be posting it on here, btw.  It's urban fantasy.  I don't know if I can write good sex scenes, but damn, I'm gonna try. 


I've also been reading a lot of ecchi and just plain smut comics online, too.  I'm addicted.  I can't help it.  Thank you manga fox.  Thank you.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

What happened, a true account

Oh, that title is a tease and a half and it will not be recognized in this blog.  Cause the story isn't that interesting but here you go.

So, Monday we both played hookey from work to take Asher to the Natural History Museum to see the dinosaurs (which he loved more than anything else ever, he told me).  We had to play hookey, we didn't have a babysitter that day.  I guess we didn't both have to take off but we thought we'd made a day of it.  We ate at Tea Noodle Shop in Little Italy and then came home.  It was a good day, even if it never stopped raining and it was really cold. 

I come back to work on Tuesday and I should have known right away when the windows to my office were completely fogged up and running with water.  I go in and the smell is horrendous. The carpeting is soaked and I am told not to turn on my computer because everything was either under water (the surge protecter, which didn't even turn off even when submerged in water) or way too humid to work.  They fix the heater in my office and turn it on, crack the door (it's still raining all this week pretty much so the humidity is 100% inside my office and 100% outside my office, too.  Then they bring in this giant blower and pull up a small section of the carpet, like the blower is gonna blow the whole room dry by blowing into a corner and then under the crack.  Stupid. 

All week I have a soaking wet carpet in my office.  Which at first started out smelling really bad of formahyde but now smells like a formalhyde preserved swamp.  And no one will fix my office because we have so many other problems. 

Why was my office flooded, you might ask? Oh, because someone cut the wrong line and then they couldn't get the valve to turn off when the torrent of water rushed into my office.  Dumb.  The best part is all the joking and teasing I'm getting every time I ask for someone to come take care of my office.  "you work at a water plant and you can't handle a bit of a wet office?"  yeah, if it was your office you would have gotten someone to take care of it already.  But since it's mine you think it's funny.  Jerks.

That's the skinny.  I still have a half wet carpet in my office, a large blower blowing air ridiculously loud all day long with a small section of it pulled up in the corner.  Awesome.  

Friday, April 22, 2011

A folded note

A lonely girl wrote a question to god on a small white paper.  She folded it three times and placed it in her pocket.  Every now and then she would take it out and look at it when she thought no one else was looking.  Peek at it in secluded places, waiting for an answer.  The girl got older and the paper got older, the creases became permanent and the paper browned with dirt and with age. Still she kept the scrap of paper as she matured though she didn't look at it as often. 

She kept to looking at it on important days only.  She didn't want to rush god's response.   She understood that when she was impulsive as a child she wasn't ready yet to have god's answer, now she was a patient woman.  God would answer her question, she had absolute faith.  It was the only one she had ever asked of god.  She grew older and the paper grew older with her.  She kept with her always and was always careful of it, treasuring it dearly. And then, one day, she woke and it was gone.  She searched everywhere but could not find the question she asked god.  She had read it so many times but she had actually forgotten what the question had been.  Was this the answer?  What did it mean?  The woman sat down, still in her pajamas, and cried. 

She felt the same when she was done crying, now only more snotty and with less breath.  An emptiness she had filled with hope, with a small white folded piece of paper asking a question of god, was now empty and years of neglecting the hole hit her hard.  The emptiness was full and complete and she was hollow and alone.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Someone's got the answers but you know it ain't gonna be me now.

Sorry, I know I missed yesterday.  Did you guys even notice?  I don't really have the time to be writing to you now even but I didn't want to fall off the wagon too far.  I'll try to write tomorrow to make up for it but it's Easter weekend so we will be super duper busy visiting and coloring and hiding/finding eggs and eating so...we will see. 

My office smells like a formaldyhde preserved swamp.  It's awesome. 

Such a busy week.  I'm glad today is my friday.  Bubble tea tomorrow.  Can't wait. I can't get anything done at work today and I have about a million things to do.  It's killing  me.  Maybe I'll make a new goals sheet just so I can acomplish something.

I have to go.  I don't even have time for breaks today.  Really, I'm not that important.  For real.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

a girl takes one day off...

And comes back to her office under water. It's gonna be one of those days.
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Monday, April 18, 2011

What do God and my driveway have in common?

I decided yesterday to steal a post from an old blog ( I used to write for and repost it here.  So if you've read it already I apologize but I think you haven't.  Well, Dave and if Jason ever reads this (highly doubtful), you have, and maybe ann, but other than that...  Also, I had to rewrite some of it, I wasn't very good at writing then or something.  I guess I'm still not but I'm a little better so I made some minor changes. 

Here it is:

Did you know that if you play your cards right, Mormons will shovel your driveway for free?  In the middle of a snow storm?  Let me tell you how.

It's my day off of work and  I decide since it is snowing a lot that I should probably shovel my driveway.  So, I don’t know, it’s probably around 11:30 and I get all ready and go out and to shovel.  As I go out, I see two girls across the street and I figure they are probably are selling something  And, I am cool with that since I used to have to do that crap for band when I was in high school (who hasn't, right?)  So, anyway, I am prepared to buy a band card or whatever magazines they are selling and  I can see that I am in their targets as they make a beeline across the street to where I am dutifully shoveling the 2 feet of snow in my driveway and sidewalk that I shared with my neighbor (I lived in a townhouse at the time ).  By the time I realize the danger I'm in, well, it's too late.

These girls didn't appear to be Mormons, which was my first mistake  I mean, these girls are attractive, one would say cute.  I know I shouldn't think all Mormons are unattractive or something but I was younger and less worldly at the time so back off.  I didn’t know what Mormons looked like before then, but now I know for future reference.  They are going to send out the best looking of their flock to bombard potential brainwashees (did I say that?). I don’t know what I thought Mormons were supposed to look like, but they aren’t supposed to be that attractive.  It’s really a good selling point when you think about it.

Anyway, I digress. Here I was, prepared to buy a stupid magazine I didn’t want when I heard these girls say, “Hey, can we shovel your driveway?"  I felt the fear then and I knew there had to be a catch.  I looked up, and these were not girl scouts trying to earn a new badge.  I immediately saw the name tags.  The names,which I will change for protecting the innocent Mormons or maybe because I already forgot them, were bold on their black name tags in gold lettering stating ‘Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’.  I was confronted by Sister Wayland and Sister Jehoshaphat. Before I could run, Sister Jehoshaphat takes the shovel from my hand, hands me her Book of Mormon and begins to shovel.

I was not prepared for their onslaught.  Like a bunny on the road in front of your gigantic Suburban,  Never had a chance.  They had used their magical Mormon powers to stun me into a stupor whilst I listened with most of my attention to Sister Wayland’s story of how great the church was and how great God is and how great life is.  I am pretty sure she was telling me that everything is great, which is, of course, a lie (like cake and the statement that you can lose cellulose), but they make it seem so easy and appealing.  I mean, I want everything to be great.  I really do, so when she tells me I can have it that way, I want to believe her. And she is cute.  I mean, it’s really hard to say no to a cute girl.  You know what I mean?  So, here I am, listening to her out in the snow and the cold and she just keeps talking and I just keep listening.

Here is an approximation of how the conversation goes:

Sister Wayland: Hi, can we shovel your driveway for you?
Me: Um…what? (as sister Jehoshaphat takes the shovel from me) Ah, okay, sure.
SW: We really like to do nice things for other people.  Can I talk to you for a minute?
Me: (now, how can I turn her down when they are shoveling my driveway?) Ah, sure…
SW: Have you heard of the book of Mormon?
Me: Yeah.
SW: Oh, really? (she is surprised here, like, Mormons are rare mythical creatures that I would never have heard of before) Have you read it?
Me: No.
SW: Oh?  It’s great.  I read from it everyday.  It’s very inspirational.  Have you heard of the bible?
Me: Yeah (seriously?)
SW: So, you know about the book of Mormon?  How have you heard of it?
Me: I have seen other members of your congregation when I lived at my old apartment in Akron.
SW: Is that in Ohio? I am not from here.  In fact, I have only been here for five days.  (for those of you who don’t know where Akron is, it IS, in fact, in Ohio.  In reality, it’s only a half hour drive from where I currently resided at the time, as well)
Me: Yeah. Only for five days? Where are you from?
SW: Utah.  (this really explains a lot, being the Mormon capital of the world)
Me: That's pretty far away.
SW: Yup.  Do you know how great God is?  He's pretty super awesome.  Let me introduce you to his total greatness and overall super awesome-Godliness. 

I mean, this goes on for a while (I might have paraphrased that last part...).  While this is all going on, it is soooo cold outside, her nose is running down her cute little face.  I am feeling kinda bad for her, so I interrupt her very exciting description of how great God is and everything and ask her if she would like some Kleenex.  Unfortunately , I am out of Kleenex since I myself was sick all week, and so all i have to offer her is toilet paper.  How silly.  I was just trying to be nice. We then go back to the description, and then she wants to know if she can come back.  I say “of course” because I just can’t be mean to such nice and pretty girls.  I mean, they are soo nice and soo attractive and I'm a pushover I suppose.  What was I supposed to do?  And now she has my address and my name and my phone number.  So, today I made friends with a Mormon.

After all is said and done, I realize that the Sister Jehoshaphat has shoveled not my driveway but my neighbor’s driveway.  Well, I think the moral of this story is that you should really specify which driveway belongs to you when you sell your worldly soul to members of the Church of Latter-day Saints for a simple service.s.  They did leave me with some very motivational reading material and a plan for calling me for another information session.  I wonder what household chores I can get them to do for me next time they come calling.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies"

Good morning.  It's Sunday, I'm trying to get work done but everything seems to be getting in the way so I decided to take a time out and just write a quick blog. 

I feel a weird sense of camaraderie with other people who I see driving around at 6:30am on Sunday mornings.  I think it's that there really is no good reason to be driving at that time of day unless you are a: going to work like I am (working early Sunday mornings is both nice in a way and sucks hardcore) b: super dedicated to God which, if that's your thing, cool, c: bored, can't sleep, etc., and thus out driving for the hell of it or d: other.  It doesn't matter which option you have chosen above for driving that early on a Sunday morning, you are there, with me, and we share something that I don't share with anyone else on any other day of my commute. 

Here are some fun Chuck Norris one liners.  Reason being the one in my title today is one I posted on a friend of mine's brother's facebook a long time ago and somehow he just read it yesterday.  That is amusing, I think.  It's sort of (but not really) like finding something you thought you lost, it just makes you smile.  So, in honor of that, here are some Chuck Norris one liners. 

  • Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
  • On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
  • Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
  • The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.

Friday, April 15, 2011

I remember always and I remember I was such a fright

This is my make up blog for missing out on Thurs. I worked  a double and was pretty productive at work.  I did the dam inspection (minus the insides part, I had a mini-panic attack the night before and decided that the guys could suck it, I'd do everything except the parts that made me cry like a little girl withdrawing from her favorite designer drugs.) at EB and it went well.  It was a really nice day for it, too.  Couldn't find all the damn piezometers though...(see what I did there?  Did you see?)  Anyway, puns aside. 

I'm currently sitting here with Asher on my lap (he just jumped to the floor to retrieve his poptart) trying to get him to listen to new music.  So far he likes some Ting Tings, two Ke$ha songs and one Family Force 5 song (by like I mean he's tolerating them which is more than we have had before).  We ordered him a baby mp3 player for Easter but I think we are going to give it to him the minute we get it, we are so tired of Zombie song and I Like That.  After lots of deliberation and a mini-meltdown from Ry, we decided to get this one.  We were gonna get the larger memory one but apparently that one causes cancer in California and since we are going there soon we figured we wouldn't risk it.  But go figure, the smaller one doesn't.  And it takes an SD card so no problemo, right?  Right.  We considered all the ones we could find, there are very few companies that make actual baby mp3 players that you can put music into.  A lot of them are just like, hey here is 12 little kid songs have fun with that. Asher is much more picky that that. 

And then you have the SweetPea, apparently the $70 cream of the crop.  Now, it might be really really nice but $70?  That's how much my mp3 player cost.  And it has 8 gigs.  This one has 2.  Yes, it's probably pretty baby proof but most of these products are eventually gonna break, you are giving it to a professional demolition team of one.  It's his job to break it.  That's why eventually we went with the $24 one.  Cause if he breaks it, it's cheap to replace. 

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Baby got back

God it's a bad self esteem day mixed with a fat day mixed with a super busy and stressful day mixed with a "why do I feel this fucked up" kind of day. 

It's a super late post.  I wasn't gonna post at all today, I did sampling and we broke the meter so it took twice as long as it should have.  Grr. Then I find out we have been over drafting our checking account for the last four days.  Awesome. Thank goodness we have overdraft protection so we only ended up paying 20.00 in fees but still....  I accidentally moved money from the checking account instead of to the checking account when I bought our plane tickets to California so I ended up having the money in the wrong account and over drafting my checking.  Awesome.  Good job, loser.  Seriously.

And I'm just feeling so wrong today.  I can't describe it, I just feel crappy and wrong.  Not sick but not well.  I dunno.  I've got dam inspections tomorrow.  I hate dam inspections.  I have to crawl down inside really dark and gross and confined tunnels in water and damp and maybe no air (i'll check first with a meter I promise).  Oh, did I mention I have to crawl down a flat metal rung ladder (I hate hate hate ladders)?  I am really not looking forward to this.  Not at all.  I wanna call off tomorrow but I'm working a double so I can't.  It sucks.  I hate it.  I have to go.  I'll try to write tomorrow tho it might not be til later. 

And I need to lose weight.  So bad.  I hit my new tolerance today. I am too fat.  I can't stand it. 

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Too stupid to do anything right, too smart to do anything stupid

Everything is pretty stupid today.  Everyone seems to think they are the only ones who know what they are doing and everyone else is wrong.  This includes me today, too.  I caught myself doing it.  It's wonderful to sit in a meeting and pretend to care what people are saying because a: you just don't care and b: you think you already know the solution and you aren't giving in on it.  That happened to be everyone in the meeting and me as well.  Very productive.  I don't know why I was like this today, maybe it was just peer pressure. 

Fencing was awesome last night.  It's much more difficult than the beginner classes.  I had so much fun even if he did yell at me more often than the beginner class.  I'm sore and achy and a little tired today.  I wish I could fence more than just once a week.  I wonder if I should buy my own gear...I don't know how much it is but I bet it's not cheap.  Oh well, it'd be cool. But I'd need someone else to get some, too, so I'd have someone to fight.

Monday, April 11, 2011

The walls are closing in, tight, tight

I stole this from and thought it was pretty funny.  Someone posted it on Jason's post about Athena's emergency escape and subsequent potty incident.  Pretty funny, actually.

Asher has developed a fear of going to bed recently...It's very trying and stressful.  I got him a new nightlight so hopefully that helps.  The jellyfish lamp bit the dust.  The little tentacles got caught in the pump and when I pulled them out the pump stopped working.  The lights still come on but now the jellyfish don't bob around the tank anymore so it's kind of pointless. I'm probably gonna have to buy him a new one but they are a little pricey. 

I'm feeling down a lot lately.  What's wrong with me?  I don't know.  Something.  I guess I'm imbalanced.  I keep trying to do things to make me chipper and happy again but I think it's something that can't be forced.  I feel like I'm at a crossroads and I have to make a decision but I don't like the outcome of either direction so I'm just standing in the middle, not making a choice.  And that's why I'm feeling kind of like I can't accomplish anything?  Perhaps.  I thought maybe it'd go away and I wouldn't have to worry about it.  Perhaps it will.  You know, I am not even sure what exactly I'm talking about, right? 

I wanna eat food but I am feeling so fat right now.  I wish I liked hard boiled eggs, I heard they are good for you and make you feel full.  Doesn't matter if I feel full, though, I feel I can always eat. 

Thinking on eggs, coloring eggs with Asher and Katya tomorrow.  I'll post pics probably on wed.  I also am starting up the intermediate level of fencing class tonight.  I'm a little nervous because these people are all gonna be better than those of us who just entered this level... Oh well, it'll be fun either way. Fencing is fun.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Oldschool SInema's Zombie Walk Lakewood Ohio

Dave, JJ and I all dressed up as zombies yesterday and went to our very first Zombie Walk in Lakewood.  Good times.  Here are some things I learned about zombie walks:

-Arriving on time is a bad idea.  It says from x to x, it means that zombie walk might start an hour before the end x time but probably not even then...Either way, we got to see a lot of people's costumes and drink.

-I am not willing to spend the amount of money it would cost me to get trashed at 12 pm.  I had a shot and two drinks and wasn't even feeling buzzed. 

-Some people are awesome and people suck.  Zombies are no different. Same goes with intellegence. 

-Zombies are difficult to herd.

Here's a bunch of photos from the event.  Overall, it was pretty kick ass fun, I wish I could have talked more of my friends into going.  By the way, our make up was all done by Dave.  I think we had some pretty awesome makeup, better than some of the makeup done by the professionals.  We were very flaky and gross looking zombies.  Good times.

Would we go again?  For sure.  Where else can you go, get dressed up like a bunch of undead and creep out an entire community?  I mean, Lakewood had no idea we were coming.  They were blindsided.  If this were a real zombipocalypse they would have been gonners for sure.  We are just doing our part to prepare them for the coming undead scourge.
We zombie 3, enjoying a drink

Zombie patio.  There were people on the fire escapes of the surrounding buildings catcalling us.


Doubtful zombie questions your sincerity

Hulk Zombies?

We know where to find the brains...

Awesome costume, wrong location?  Maybe he was on his way to the organ grinders ball later that night?

Always prepared, even as a flesheater.

Better watch out, albino zombie found an axe. 

What else can I say except the nurse had a needle sticking in her forehead. 

This guy wins for best performance.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Nobody knows the trouble I've been through

Life just seems different after a good massage.  Things are softer, less harsh.  I feel good.

Got a really good quote for the basement yesterday.  Might call and get another quote but I'm pretty sure we are gonna go with these guys.

Sorry for the brevity, I have a million things to do at work today. 

Maybe I'll try and write again tomorrow.  Anyone wanna come over this weekend and make a rain barrel with me?  Or move dirt?  Or put up fencing and garden beds?  It's gonna be super awesome fun.  To the max.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

When we connect, it goes back a long way

How's everyone's Wednesday going?  I'm getting a massage tonight so it can't be too bad, right?

Also getting an estimate for the fixing of the basement.  My mom thinks I'm an idiot since I'm not doing it myself but paying some dude a bunch of money to do it but...I can't fix this.  I don't have time or the effort right now.  So, hire someone it is. 

Just finished my first compilation, too.  It's a mix tape of Dax Riggs stuff for Brittany so she can totally fall in love with him before the show at JBs in May.  It's gonna be super awesome.  I love Dax.  Check it out below or if it's still not working, click here:

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Mira un poco mas alla

I'm supposed to be working on my homework for Watershed Academy or on processing lab data but here I am slacking off, looking up lyrics in Spanish and having google translate them for me. *Shakes head in disappointment* I'm so disappointed in me.

Lately I can't seem to get things done. Or if I do, something else happens that makes me feel like a failure again. The basement is still leaking. Pretty bad again last night, I think it's getting worse. Gonna try to call people today to get an appointment to have someone look at it. Everyone tells me "Oh, Ry can do this and that and he can get it under control. I'll help him." Let me just break that down for you into what I hear and understand.

a) ry has no idea how to do physical stuff. Computer stuff, he's pretty good. Play video games all night long? He's your man. Completely ignore the problem? He's on it.

b)you are gonna come help him? When? Cause my basement is flooding again and you still haven't shown up or even tried to make time. I know I don't really have the money to hire a dude to fix the basement when "people" (I put this in quotes because I haven't had any real people come to help me fix the problem yet) could do it cheaper. I understand everyone has a life (occasionally I do, too) and is busy with their own stuff. I get that. But don't tell me we can do this cheap and then just leave my house to get all wet and moldy every time we have rain.

So, in conclusion, this is the sentence I hear: "Hey, ry is completely incompetent in that area and will get upset and angry but will be not be effective in correcting the situation and I'm gonna just tell him what to do in vague terms so he is still clueless while I sit over here at my house and do whatever it is that I am doing that is not helping to fix your basement."

I'm not trying to sound unappreciative or make it seem like I think Ry is a moron. He's not and I am appreciative but I should have just hired someone weeks ago and been done with this whole mess instead of pretending like we could fix it ourselves.

So, we are calling today. My house smells bad again, too. It sucks.

Another thing that is making me feel like a failure, Asher is developing jealousy over Katya. I was trying to help her with her homework last night and he was being awful, he didn't want to play with daddy, only with either me or Katya, he flipflopped all night. Then we couldn't get him to bed, he was just freaking out and crying and screaming and it was bad. I can't remember when we had a bedtime without incident, it's been so long.


And now for something completely different.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Got this microphone and you know that I ain't gonna fool ya

Made homemade pizza and carrot cake last night.  I never knew how much carrot cake was actually carrots.  It's like, half a half.  2 cups of flour, 2 cups of shredded carrots.  So, I used a recipe from Alton Brown and tried to change the ingredients (subbing maple syrup for sugar and applesauce for eggs, soy milk for yogurt) and it turned out tasting super awesome.  Only problem, well, I overcooked it.  His recipe called for one 9 inch cake pan, I made two 8 inch rounds.  I dropped 25 minutes off cook time but it's still a little chewy.  Maybe it's some of the ingredient changes?  I dunno but I'm gonna try it again, making muffins this time.  I'm gonna figure out some faux cream cheese recipe and pipe it into the middle of the muffins.  It's my next baking goal.  The taste is spot on, though.  Very good. 

I love making home made pizza, too.  It's probably a lot more healthy than the shop bought pizza and I can put anything I want on it.  I made two pizzas last night, mush, black olive and almonds, and one without almonds for Asher.  So good. 

Our house guest comes back today. 

It's supposed to rain today. I'm looking forward to it, actually.  Seems like a good day for it. 

I'm on a warpath, too.  Goddamned deer ate all 50 of my tulips.  It's on, deer.  I'm buying an electric fence (maybe).  Let's dance.  I need an old lady to just stand out there and hit deer with a post every time they get close to my yard.  I can see it now, a cute little gray-hair shaking her stick at large ungulates who weigh more than she does, "Back!  Back you damned deer!", chasing them with everything she has to protect my delicate flowers and garden.  She'd be after the stupid rabbits, too.  I'm gonna call her the Gertie-bomb.  I'm gonna drop a Gertie-bomb on you stupid herbivores. 

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Repeat the words that I know we both said

A nice weekend overall. 

I need to lose about 10 pounds.  I wish I didn't like food so much.

I really don't feel like writing right now.  No one reads my Sunday posts anyway, you guys are all out having a life while I'm toiling away keeping the water safe.  And I say, good for you.  I'd be there, too, if I didn't have to work.

We did have a car drive into the reservoir on Friday morning.  Why do I always miss the cool stuff?  Maybe that's a good thing.  I also want to point out what freaking amazing journalistic investigation went on for that article.  Truly, this should win the newspaper awesomeness award for professionalism and journalistic hard work or whatever you get when you write new articles that a 9 year old writing for his school paper could out-write. 

I couldn't embed the official music video of this song because Warner Bros are a bunch of stingy bitches.  Or something, maybe they are completely nice people and have a good reason. Either way, who cares.