Sunday, April 17, 2011

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies"

Good morning.  It's Sunday, I'm trying to get work done but everything seems to be getting in the way so I decided to take a time out and just write a quick blog. 

I feel a weird sense of camaraderie with other people who I see driving around at 6:30am on Sunday mornings.  I think it's that there really is no good reason to be driving at that time of day unless you are a: going to work like I am (working early Sunday mornings is both nice in a way and sucks hardcore) b: super dedicated to God which, if that's your thing, cool, c: bored, can't sleep, etc., and thus out driving for the hell of it or d: other.  It doesn't matter which option you have chosen above for driving that early on a Sunday morning, you are there, with me, and we share something that I don't share with anyone else on any other day of my commute. 

Here are some fun Chuck Norris one liners.  Reason being the one in my title today is one I posted on a friend of mine's brother's facebook a long time ago and somehow he just read it yesterday.  That is amusing, I think.  It's sort of (but not really) like finding something you thought you lost, it just makes you smile.  So, in honor of that, here are some Chuck Norris one liners. 

  • Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
  • On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
  • Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
  • The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.

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