I'm supposed to be working on my homework for Watershed Academy or on processing lab data but here I am slacking off, looking up lyrics in Spanish and having google translate them for me. *Shakes head in disappointment* I'm so disappointed in me.
Lately I can't seem to get things done. Or if I do, something else happens that makes me feel like a failure again. The basement is still leaking. Pretty bad again last night, I think it's getting worse. Gonna try to call people today to get an appointment to have someone look at it. Everyone tells me "Oh, Ry can do this and that and he can get it under control. I'll help him." Let me just break that down for you into what I hear and understand.
a) ry has no idea how to do physical stuff. Computer stuff, he's pretty good. Play video games all night long? He's your man. Completely ignore the problem? He's on it.
b)you are gonna come help him? When? Cause my basement is flooding again and you still haven't shown up or even tried to make time. I know I don't really have the money to hire a dude to fix the basement when "people" (I put this in quotes because I haven't had any real people come to help me fix the problem yet) could do it cheaper. I understand everyone has a life (occasionally I do, too) and is busy with their own stuff. I get that. But don't tell me we can do this cheap and then just leave my house to get all wet and moldy every time we have rain.
So, in conclusion, this is the sentence I hear: "Hey, ry is completely incompetent in that area and will get upset and angry but will be not be effective in correcting the situation and I'm gonna just tell him what to do in vague terms so he is still clueless while I sit over here at my house and do whatever it is that I am doing that is not helping to fix your basement."
I'm not trying to sound unappreciative or make it seem like I think Ry is a moron. He's not and I am appreciative but I should have just hired someone weeks ago and been done with this whole mess instead of pretending like we could fix it ourselves.
So, we are calling today. My house smells bad again, too. It sucks.
Another thing that is making me feel like a failure, Asher is developing jealousy over Katya. I was trying to help her with her homework last night and he was being awful, he didn't want to play with daddy, only with either me or Katya, he flipflopped all night. Then we couldn't get him to bed, he was just freaking out and crying and screaming and it was bad. I can't remember when we had a bedtime without incident, it's been so long.
Sigh.
And now for something completely different.
Good, I am glad you are hiring someone to do your basement. It's going to hurt in the wallet but there is nothing better than knowing your basement is not going to leak again. Seriously, wet basements suck so bad. They don't go away. And they need professional help.
ReplyDeleteWhy does Asher's jealousy make you feel like a failed parent? I just read a few articles about child development at 18 and 24 months and they seem to all politely say "CHILDREN BETWEEN THE AGES OF 18 AND 36 MONTHS ARE HORRIBLE MONSTERS AND SHOULD BE LOCKED AWAY. Except they are also quite cute and fun." Weird stuff.
Oh I have also read, from non-clinical sources (actual parents) that 3 year olds are horrible beings too (but also super cute).
If you manage to raise a child to the critical age of 4, then you get a gold star. Just make sure the baby lives and you will not be a bad parent.
Cake for me!
Yup, cake for you. I've got it next to me on my desk, tempting me to just take a tiny little bite. Just a little one...
ReplyDeleteBut no, my will power is strong when it's someone else's food. If it was my own food it'd be gone by now.
Your cake is going to be my dinner. Seriously. That is what a sad sack I am.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to the positive stuff that you were going to start writing?? Enough about this you being a failure bs. Does a failure welcome a child in her home as her own no questions asked while her mother is trying to recover in the hospital? No. You just mentioned in this post how much of a failure you think you are twice.
ReplyDeleteMy Athena suddenly developed jealousy every time I started carrying around my niece. That was when she stopped ignoring me. It's normal toddlerhood and normal parenthood.
A word of unsolicited advice...if you're helping Katya with her homework, do it in another room where Asher can't have access to (upstairs bedroom or something). This is your private time with Katya and he needs to understand that, or at least not be around when you're trying to help her with her homework. He's probably not going to be understanding (which is normal for a toddler), so just remove yourself from the situation before it escalates to him acting out and have Ryan take care of him.