Sunday, March 27, 2011

Boys beware! Diva Cup, girl stuff, don't say I didn't warn you

I'm serious.  If you have a penis and don't want to hear a detailed review of my new Diva Cup (it has to do with periods), turn back now.  And ladies, this might be too much information for you, too, if you are feeling a bit squeamish.  Fair warning. 

Seriously, turn back now, don't click on the 'read more' or whatever it says when I do the 'you have to click here to read more' bar on my blog settings. 

I warned you. 
So I was given a suggestion by a friend of mine (Thanks NYRchl) to purchase a Diva Cup (or something equivalent, most menstrual cups are very similar). I was skeptical at first, I mean, you know, it does sound kind of hippie-ish and weird to a girl who has used the 'normal' tools of the red tide trade for the last 17 years of her life.  Hell, this is the girl who was afraid to use a tampon until she was 17 and even then was scared of them a little bit for a while afterwards...

Anyway, before I decided to purchase one (they retail at about $30.00 each) I researched it on the best place to learn about products,  Seriously, if you want to know about something, really really know about something, intimately know the true depths of a product, the rating system has the answer for you.  I'm sure there are other places to research a product's true nature, but this is the one I chose. 

And, of course, I only read the bad reviews.  Diva cup (one of several brands, mind you) has, at this point in time, 255 reviews.  207 of them are 5 star reviews.  7 of them are 1 star reviews.  Let's get into the 1 star reviews, shall we?  One bad review from a lady with a low cervix, but that makes sense as the cup sits in the middle of your Lady V and if you have a low cervix it would be uncomfortable.  My favorite 1 star review:
1.0 out of 5 stars NOT good at ALL, March 24, 2011
Lots of people seem to praise the Diva Cup, but do not go into details about the cons of it.

I will explain.

1-HARD TO REMOVE- I had to shove my whole pointer finger in order to try and grab the stem.
2-MESSY TO REMOVE- If you don't pull it out right, you'll have a newly painted red bathroom or your own movie set to a mass killing scene
3-UNCOMFORTABLE TO REMOVE -you have to make sure to "break the seal" and even if you do, when you take the cup out, it opens up so big, you feel like you gave birth. Then you feel like you violated yourself.
4-TRICKY TO PUT IN- if you are in a rush, forget it, you need time to get "relaxed"
5-YOU START TO FEEL STRETCHED OUT- i felt wide open after using this, now i can keep shoes in there
6-HEAVY PERIOD USERS - if you have a heavy period, you'll be changing it about 6,7 or 8 hours and not the supposed 12 hours before it overflows.
My BIGGEST DRAWBACK about the diva cup has got to be...
It gets lost...
This is the 1st time I use the Diva Cup and I was hoping for a miracle. I wish that the diva cup had a longer and better stem, that would make it almost perfect for removal.
I violated myself trying to remove the darned thing.
I think everyone should try it for themselves... EXCEPT
So, there you have it, in a nutshell.  Don't use this if you don't like blood, or to touch the inside of your Vajajay.  She's right, though.  You do have to touch the inside of your vajajay.  God forbid you have to be intimate with your own body!  Touch yourself?  Not in my God's USofA you won't!  Work of the devil for sure. 

I don't know if it was me but I really didn't have any of  the issues she mentioned in the "cons" section.  It is a little uncomfortable to pull it out, but there's a trick to it and I figured it out pretty quick.  I didn't have any troubles putting it in, I just followed the directions it came with and it was easy peasy.  After the first day I had it down to like 1 minute of total removing/cleaning/reapplying.  It can be a little messy but that's why I did it in the bathroom.  Some common sense needs to be applied, honestly. 

And feels like giving birth to remove?  This girl has never given birth.  It is slightly uncomfortable, but it does not feel anything like giving birth.  She has a big suprise coming to her when she has her first child...

Ah, it sounds like I'm attacking this poor girl.  I'm sorry, I'm not trying to.  Either way, there is a bit of a learning curve with this product (just like any product used for aunt flo, it's really all about learning how your body works and trying to accommodate).  So, some of these one star reviews are pretty negative because they used the product once, didn't give themselves time to learn how to use the product or didn't even bother to really read the directions and then failed and hated it when this product is amazing. 

See, there you go.  Now you know how I feel.  Amazing.  Let me tell you about my last period. 

I didn't even really feel like I was on my period while I was on my period, except for when I need to change my cup.  It was awesome.  Inspiring.  Freeing.  Other adjectives that mean awesome and stuff.  My last period was the best period of my life.  Except for all the periods I didn't have when I was breastfeeding, those were the best ones, but this one is the next bestest. 

It can be a little messy when you change it, your gonna get some on your fingers taking it out.  That's just how it is. It wasn't horrifying or traumatic or anything, it is what it is.  And it is awesome that there is no smell at all.  So nice.  I felt so fresh, which I know now I sound like a tampon commercial in full blast, just picture me in a long flowing white dress with the wind machine splaying back my long flaxen hair..., but I did.  It was nice because I always feel kind of dirty and icky when I'm on my period using a pad but I felt normal (non-periodish) the whole time using my Diva Cup. 

Another thing that's pretty nice about it is that, unlike a tampon, you still have the natural lubricants and stuff going on in the tunnel of love and it makes you feel less, I don't know, scratchy?  Tampons always make my lady jay feel dry and scratchy, especially towards the end when the flow is pretty light.  Not with the Deva Cup. 

So, there, you know I like it.  I've only used it for one period so far but I'm in love.  It's so awesome that I just can't tell you how awesome it is.  It makes me feel like I'm not on my period.  Which is about as awesome as life can get when you're on your period.  I also noticed I wasn't as irritable and cranky as I usually am, I wonder if that is because I didn't feel like a leaky ceiling for a week or if it was just my hormones this month.  I guess we will see how I feel next month.  I really do think that it (my moods) does have something to do with not feeling icky for 6 days.

Another thing, it is a long term use item so it should last for a few years, saving me a ton of money at the store and cutting down on pollution (so rock on with my eco-green socks on!) and there is no chance of TSS which always scared the crap out of me when I was younger. 

If you have ever even considered using a menstrual cup, I really recommend you try it.  I really think it's one of the better things I've bought myself for the monthly ride of the red tide and I won't go as far to say that it changed my life but it definitely made a week of my life per month 110% better. 

Try it, you'll like it.  And if you don't, they will return it and give you your money back.

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