Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Bonus Blog, my angry letter to Maidenform Bra Company.

Dear MaidenForm Bra Company,

Today I happened to be in a Kohls store looking for a belt and I walked by a display rack of your Tee-Shirt Bras which looked so super comfy and nice.  I wasn't in the store to buy a bra, like I said, I needed a belt, but the bra just looked really comfy and nice and so I looked for a bra in my size.  I have a hard time finding bras from most companies in my size, I wear a 36 DD, and of course, today I had the same problem with your brand.  I really wanted the cute brown one, I think the color is called Chocolate Truffle, but after being helped by a very nice employee we discovered that my only options for colors in your bras (not just this particular style but ALL of your bras) are black, white and nude or beige or whatever color you call that odd pukey color.  Seriously, I would never be caught dead in this color of bra, do people buy that color, it's so unattractive. But I digress.

Seriously, screw you guys.  Just because my boobs are bigger than a D I am not allowed to feel sexy?  I'm not allowed to look good in a bra?  I'm restricted to BEIGE? Seriously?  Why is it that girls with smaller chests get cute colors and patterns and I am stuck dressing like an old woman. And I bet even old women would like a nice red bra but can't find one in their size. 

While I'm griping about bras, another question.  Why must you make the lining in a bra for a larger girl like myself so thick?  It's seriously like wearing body armor over your boobs.  I have a centimeter thick foam that adds to my already large enough bust size and makes my boobs look rigid and cone like.  It's not the 1950s anymore and if you are a girl who wears, say a C cup, you don't have the sizable padding unless you bought a push up bra to make them look bigger.  I don't need them to look bigger.  I need a comfortable bra, and it'd be nice if: A) it didn't have the potential to protect me from stray bullets B) it looked even slightly sexy in the least.  Oh, and some lace might be nice, too, on a few models. Just saying.

I am not even sure if anyone will read this but I want you to know that you lost a sale today and future potential sales from me and any of my friends who are larger girls.  There are obviously more of us than you bra companies think. 

Now, I know you are going to send me back an email (if I even get a response) that says, oh there are a lot of bras for you big girls in our collection.  Yes, I saw them at Kohls.  I actually own one. They suck.  They are HUGE.  I mean, they cover half of my freaking chest.  I don't mean my breasts.  They are for real the bra equivalent of bloomer briefs.  Yes, I said it. Bloomer Briefs.  If I wanted a bra that covered me from the shoulders to the navel I would just wrap myself in duct tape.  It'd probably be more sexy, too.  These bras that you offer to larger women are the ones that have the super thick lining I mentioned before, too.  Enough with stiff foam in my bra.  I'm not saying that I don't need support, I def do, I'm just saying that it's one extreme or the other with bra companies.  Is it too much to ask for a comfy bra for a slightly well endowed woman?  Something comfy and attractive?  I buy a bra from you and I feel like I've aged 30 years when I put it on.  Anyway...

Thanks for the lack of a comfy, sexy, affordable bra,


1 comment:

  1. Ok so I was drawn to your blog because you mentioned Alton Brown in your recent post and I had set up a news thingy from Google when he came to town (I'm in NE Ohio too) and haven't un-set it yet. I saw the title of this post in the side panel and have to comment! I wear a 40DD. I'm not super fat or anything, I just have ridiculously big boobs. The only place I've found AWESOME sexy bras (and they start around 30D and go up to well into the 40's) is at Lane Bryant. You may not need to shop there for clothes, but man do they have awesome bras for well-endowed women. I think the line is called Cacique; they come in underwire and in no wire. They also have the weird padded armor ones (I don't get it either). You can buy them online at Lane Bryant's web site. Happy shopping, and good luck with the girls.