A post on my day off? I know, it's amazing. But I am getting paid for today, so I figured the least I could do was post a quick little blog for those of you still working or who really like to read the nonsense I write down everyday.
So, if you read my facebook you already know I dug through a bag filled with viscera yesterday. I blame the TV show Castle with Nathan Fillian and Stana Katic. I love it. We have been watching it after we put Bear to bed every night since Ryan is sick and doesn't want to do anything but lay on the couch, with how the weather has been I have no objections. But, you know, they see weird murders all the time, so...
Anyway, I'm driving down the road in the outskirts of Middlefield when I spot a garbage bag with ribs sticking out tucked back behind a pile of dead grass on property owned by my employers. So, I push it into reverse and turn around to check out this bag.
Normally I'm used to seeing dead deer carcasses from when the snow first flies to when the tulips are up (hunters just seem to think that public property is the best place to drop their left over trophy kills) but usually they are not skinned and tied up in a garbage bag, so I figured I'd better check it out. I try to scope it from the car after I scare all the crows away but...it just can't be done. I have to get out and check. So I get out and spot a nice stick for poking and tearing holes in the garbage bag and I grab it. Right out of a pile of horse manure I didn't see was there. Good start, right? I thought so.
So, taking the non-poopy end of the stick I start trying to tear through the garbage bag to see more than just slightly exposed skinned ribs. It's hard work to do with a poopy stick, the garbage bag is a really good quality one. Anyway.. eventually I uncover that this body is cut into all sorts of large pieces. There's the pelvic bone, there's some parts of ribs, there's some guts. It is very hard to tell what kind of animal it is when it's all cut apart like that. And then frozen together. In a large garbage bag ball shape. Oh, and it still stunk to high heavens, even though it was frozen. Thank goodness it wasn't warmer I guess.
Anyway, the crows were getting agitated that I stole their all you can eat buffet from them and I was kind of tired of poking random body parts with a stick so I decided I'd take one more go at looking for hooves or a skull or something that would symbolize it as 'non-human' so I could just leave and stop poking dead things with sticks.
I might have seen a hoof. Or something. I think the point here is that I DIDN'T see any hands or fingers or toes or anything like that. Or skin, or hair. And the ribs were pretty big, so if it was a human then I'm sorry dead guy, a: for thinking you were a deer, b: for poking around at your dead body with a poopy stick, c: for the fact you are dead and d: cause you must have been a big boy. These ribs were pretty big. But, in retrospect, I have never seen human ribs without skin over them....
Dave asked me if there were serial killers on the loose in Amish Country. I told him there were hundreds, if you are a deer. It sounds kind of dumb now that I'm repeating it but it seemed amusing to me when it happened. I guess you had to be there.