Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I'm gonna marry the night

So, instead of bitching about how stressful my job is already this morning (just know it is), I'll tell you about almost getting pee on me in San Fransisco.  It's a good story. 

I tried to draw a comic of this but it's taking too long, perhaps I'll finish it tomorrow and post it. 

So Ann and I are walking all around Mission Street in San Fransisco, just being two trendy and awesome chicas.  We decide to go to a El Salvadorian place to eat some papusas.  So we go into a random restaurant and sit down at a sort of cleanish table.  The waitress comes up to us and shoots off some rapid Spanish.  I'm at a loss (it's been like 8 years since my last Spanish class), so thankfully Ann has some Spanish under her belt.  She translates the question to me, what kind of juice, tamarino, orchard or pineapple.  The lady speaks no English at all.  I'm not sure how she can work in a restaurant in SF without marginal English but she does.  Or maybe she was just refusing to speak to us in English, I don't know.  Either way, Ann helps me remember some of my Spanish and we both order papusas, mine with puerco and frijoles and hers with queso y frijoles.  She makes it a big deal, saying "sin animalia" and asks if they use lard ( I don't remember the Spanish for it).  The waitress says, no, no, no animalia.  Good. 

We get our papusas a little bit later (eat them with plantains, which I've never had before, AWESOME!!!!) either way, mine was fine but Ann gives me a funny look and a piece of her papusa.  "Is this meat?" she asks me.  Why, yes, it was.  Way overcooked chicken.  So we get the reluctant waitress to come back over and ask her if this is "pollo"? "Si!" she answers enthusiastically.  Ann sighs, points to herself and says "vegetarian".  The waitress brings her a new papusa.  Most of the rest of it was uneventful.  Btw, thanks to Ann for buying my lunch, I owe ya one!

So we are walking back up Mission St carrying our leftovers and heading towards Om Shan Tea, the teashop we were going.  We saw trannys, prostitutes, crazy homeless guys and other colorful SF Mission St residents.  One homeless guy (this was on our way to the papusa place but who cares about a timeline, really?) points to me and says "America's!" then points to Ann and says"TOP" and points to himself and says "Model!" Then goes and talks to a prostitute.  It was interesting. 

Anyway, an old guy was pushing an older guy down the street in a wheel chair, ignoring all the traffic laws and pushing him out into oncoming traffic.  He ends up getting ahead of us because of this (cool chicas don't violate traffic laws!) and I don't think anything of it.  Ann and I are totally having cool chica talk going on, minding our own business when I look over to my right randomly.  There are all these trees planted on the sidewalks next to the road and the wheel chair pushing dude totally flashes me his ass and his tucked jewels and staff and pees backwards on a tree.  If you didn't get that, he is bending over, facing backwards, spraying a tree with his urine with his ass hanging out and his cock and balls tucked backwards giving me quite a show and almost giving me a quick golden splatter. 

I make some type of expletive and jump back against Ann who was unsuspecting and didn't have her eyes scarred by this unique event.  Thank goodness one of us was able to be spared.  It does make a good story, right?  I actually like that crazy stuff happens every now and again, it makes the trip more memorable.

Most of the rest of the trip was mostly uneventful, we went to the tea house which was awesome, it was totally Tibetan Monk themed, there were no products served that monks wouldn't eat, so no soy, nuts, sugar, processed foods, nightshades, some other things.  I really liked it.  And the lady working there who's name was Ash, totally a hippie but she didn't smell like a hippie so that was good, was totally awesome.  She was super nice and helpful and made us feel totally comfortable and welcome.  It was so nice.  I think that Ann and I really were able to talk with each other and feel super relaxed and unpressured.  I honestly feel that we bonded more during our Mission Street expedition than the whole rest of our trip so I'm really happy we went. 

Oh, we didn't have any children, either, the dads took them to a really cool children's museum under the golden gate bridge.  I'll post pictures of that soon, I promise. 

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