Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Take it as a threat, or better yet, as a promise

The flowers are dying on my desk.  They never last long.  Is it because my office is full of toxic mold (dude I work with is severely sick this week, too, head cold congestion and stuff, perhaps from the moldy carpet that they refuse to remove)?  Is it because my office is full of despair and neglect?  Is it because cut flowers never last long when placed in a graduated cylinderr of treated water (I really should collect river water for them...)?
Not that you needed to know but I'm close to my monthly disability.  This last week has been super weird, emotionally.  I have been obsessively addicted to an anime (which I finished last night.  Why do I get so attached to tragedies which I know are gonna fuck up my mental space in the end?  It was such a good show, but now I'm dwelling on it mad hardcore...) which has left me feeling detached from other life.  Like, I just don't feel like reality is really all that and I don't really want to participate in it right now.  I just want to keep reading and being selfishly self absorbed.  I know it's just hormones so I'm waiting for the red lady to visit already so I can move on from this mental space.  Cause I just can't shake it on my own. 

It's okay for now.

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