Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Yesterday's brush with death.

Now, I had promised myself yesterday after these events all went down that I would write a blog about how I could have almost died yesterday while doing mundane errands after work.  I promised myself I would think about it and write the story in a super witty and clever way, make it incredibly interesting and nifty. 

I hate it when I break promises to myself.  After it happened I finished my chores, went home and tried to calm down all the extra adrenaline in my system and then went about the normal routine of my life with cooking and care giving a two year old and watching some Game of Thrones with the Davis family.  Not giving thought to how to make this event seem important and cool.  If only I had the sarcastic prose of J. Morrison, Google aficionado.  Or the elegant flow that JJ possesses.  Instead, I write like a vocabulary deficient 13 year old girl telling you how, like, super awesome it is that, like, I'm still alive and, seriously, OMG, you totally won't believe a word but it's seriously like super true and stuff. 

So, without further ado...I need to go make photo copies for work so just hold that thought a moment, will you?

Sorry, that took longer than I thought, although to you it just took one sentence. 

So, after work yesterday I had to run some errands.  I needed to pick up some softener salt for our well water, so I drove a different way home so I could stop by this shop that sells the good salt for a halfway decent price.  I turn right into the parking lot from SR 14 in Streetsboro, turn off my car and am stepping outside when, for no reason I could figure out at all, the power line across the street snaps and jumps, breaking the power line on my side of the street, like 15-20 feet from where I'm standing.

The line falls across the street and the line on my side of the road falls across the entrance to the parking lot and catches on fire while arcing electricity.  It was so loud!  And when I say catches on fire, I mean that the whole line turned into a giant fireball and burned for like 10 seconds. 

While this is happening I run into the shop, it's just a little water shop so it's door is open (no air conditioning I'm assuming) where a pregnant woman and an older man are standing, staring at what is happening with jaw dropping awe.  I was freaking out a little, for if I had stayed at work ten seconds longer or driven behind a slow driver or something the line would have fallen right on my car.  As it was, if the line had decided to jump in my direction I might have been hit anyway. 

We all stand around in awe for like 20 seconds until the line starts to burn into a second fireball.  Then I say, "hey, maybe you guys should call 911?"  They both look at me like I'm stupid so I call it for them.  I just figured they'd have the address or something.  I found it, though.  So I call and tell and they are sending out a firetruck. 

Now, some dude from a business across the street comes out and acts all important, starts stopping traffic so that they don't run over the potentially live wire across the road, and starts directing traffic into the parking lot that I'm parked in, apparently not having seen that the second line fell and was still burning periodically.  So, I yell to him that the line is still hot and he stops, but not before some lady freaks the fuck out after I tell her to stop, the wire is live, but she guns it.  Like traveling over it more quickly will save her.  Lucky for her it didn't electrocute her or combust spontaneously while she drove over it. 

Eventually the wire fireballs itself into little pieces and it's safe for me to drive over (it disconnected from the live wire, which was still zapping and flailing against the power pole when I left) and I left.  The traffic on SR 14 was backed up for miles and miles already.  I felt bad for rush hour commuters yesterday. 

I feel like I should now be living life as if I was given a second chance but I really don't know what to change in my life.  How sad. 


  1. Its not sad. You live your life the way you live your life. Because an oddity took place doesn't mean that you are going to start making a bucket list. I am pretty sure however that you will change one thing: you will stare at the power lines as you drive now. :)

  2. Holy shit! It just...snapped off?!

    I'm never going to SBoro again. Possibly not outside, either.

    Glad you didn't die. For real. I may have had to babysit Asher a few times if you died, and I just don't have that kind of time, yaknow?


  3. Lol at JJ!

    So, now that death is PISSED that you cheated it.. You better watch your back! Final Destination style. Haha just kidding ya. That's some crazy shit. Glad it missed you.