Monday, November 28, 2016

Maybe I think too much, but something's wrong

Hello, it's me.

Why, yes, I do only come here when I'm feeling a little self depreciate-y.  I'm glad you noticed.  That will make this much easier for both of us.

I'm hoping that when I'm forty or something that I'll look back at myself and be all like, oh, it was worth it, the self discovery that brought us here.  Cause, woman, you da man.  Or something like that, which does not imply that being a man is better than being a woman.  I'm not turning forty anytime soon, I've got time to work on it.

Oh, look, it's a report...
I had a draft of my first book printed today.  It's 212 pages compiled into a clear covered, 8x11 report by the wonderful UPS store.  Thanks UPS!  Hope I didn't scar you.  Yeah, like you read what I sent you.  That would be a violation of customer confidentiality.  (I know you didn't read it but what did you think? *wink wink nudge nudge*)  Oh, yeah, you totally didn't read it.  Oh, okay.  No, I get it.  It's all good.  I just..well...nevermind.

Um, I guess that last part is a lie.  The book itself is 212 pages total, but there's that whole, practically blank cover page and a table of contents as well.  So...210 pages.  Don't let me get too big of a head.  It's the shortest of all my books, too.  Some places say that formatting is a big deal to figure out how many pages your book would be as a novel.  What I'm seeing pretty consistently is an average of 250 words per page.  If that's the case, then my book has 121,156 words, divided by 250 words per page...means 484.6 pages.  So, like 485 pages rounding up for a cover page.  I know I did this kind of stuff in my stats post a few weeks ago, but I revised it a few times so it's a little longer.'s really big (that's what she said).  Bigger than I thought it was.  I, apparently, am verbose.  It's a surprise to us all, I know.  I was just so excited to have a book, you know?  I know that self publishing such a niche book will probably never happen, and I can't handle the stress of trying to do that as well as doing my other two jobs, too, but it's a dream.  Honestly, I don't care to make money from it (though it would be nice, you know?), I would just like people who are interested in that kind of stuff to read it and tell me what they think.

Also, seeing it printed, while making it kinda real to me, also made me feel like it's probably not very good.

So...maybe I don't want to know what people honestly think of it, I have practically no self confidence.  But I want it to be good.  :/

Did I mention I finished the third book over the weekend?  And started the fourth, and last, one.  I promise, this one will end the "Promise" series, which I don't know if I'm calling it that or not.  I will finish this story line. I really will.

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