Sunday, March 10, 2013

I won't regret saying this, this thing, that I'm saying

I'm not sure when in my life that it happened, when I began to only feel any accomplishment of mine was validated if it was received well on Facebook. To the point where I felt that events in my life were only great if they got so many likes.  I mean, I am obviously not overwhelmingly like that but it's enough that I have started to feel Facebook depressed.  I wonder if that's a thing.  I'm going to look it up, hold on. Yup...good old internet comes through again.  According to this article, which is the only one I read because I am watching both kids and writing a blog and obviously this means I have a whole bunch of time to do a real bang up research job on this topic, I am in the secondary category, the "lack of feedback" makes a girl real sad.  I mean, envy is a little bit as well, but only in the fact that other people get tons of feedback and have conversations on facebook and all I get is a few thumbs ups from people who probably pity my pathetic Facebook existence.   

Oh well, honestly I don't really care. Or rather, I am going to make myself not care.  I am going on a strike against Facebook.  I will continue to occasionally check in on Facebook but I am going to try to stop obsessively checking it several times a day.  I mean, mostly I just read George Takai and I fucking love science.  I don't need to prove to myself that the things I do are meaningful by getting a bunch of "likes" on Facebook.  I can do that by being proud of myself and sharing my accomplishments and failures with my friends and family the way people used to do.  By blog.  Wait, no, I fucked that up again.  I mean by talking and emailing and calling and writing long handwritten letters and blogging.  Well, I have to vent somewhere, right?  And, I can feel solace in the fact that this is a very under read blog and that no one will really hear what I have to say unless they search it out.  Or I post it on Facebook.  Which I probably will.  But not as obsessively.  Maybe.

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