Thursday, August 11, 2016

My hands are shaky and I don't feel right, again, my friend. I'm just waiting on a wild sun.


At some point, if a lot of people seem to think that the problem lies with you...what point do you have to concede to that, even if you only partially believe it.  I mean, sometimes I totally agree.  Most things are somehow my fault, just for being around.  My being there influences things or something.  Like, things are better if I'm not there.  But sometimes, well, I think that it's not me but everyone else that is crazy.

Is it that hard to be around me?  My boss made a joke about how I seem to be not on speaking terms with a lot of people around work lately.

I find it hard to be around me, but I can't change that.  I can limit my exposure to others, I suppose.

Man, this post is a bummer.  It's good no one really reads this, I'd hate to be the person to bring you down.  Because I have it on good authority that I am indeed that person.

I don't know how to change the me that bothers others.  I don't know how to be a person to make everyone happy.  I try hard, but it doesn't happen.  I know I can't make everyone happy, but I try still.
*Edit...How selfish of me, to think I can make people happy*

Something that bothered me the other day, Mexico was shaming one of its Olympians, a gymnast who doesn't look like a twig.  Fuck Mexico.  But, you know, Fuck America, too, because we are just as much horrible, hateful humans.

We also have nice people.  Like these firemen who saved a bunch of ducklings from dying a horrible death inside a storm drain on a highway.  Or the guy who does nice things for people for no reason, and people are left confused and worried about something bad happening because no one is nice anymore.

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