Saturday, December 28, 2013

Spinning circles, watch them run

Just some statements.  Christmas is not about who can buy more gifts for children.  It is not a competition between grandparents.  Or between grandparents and parents.  It is not a competition for attention.  It is not supposed to be about consumerism at all.  I will be the first to tell you I'm not a religious person but from what I remember from Sunday School back when I was a wee little 'un...the birthday of Jesus was not supposed to signify which big box retailer could sell more stuff no one wants nor needs.

I don't know if you can tell but this holiday sucked the life out of me.  It kills me a little each year.  I understand how people are grinches.  I can't help but hate this time of year.  I thought having kids would rekindle my love of the holiday but the stresses and pressures that my family puts on me make me hate the whole month of December.  Just saying.

I read an article the other day that talked about how the holidays have much more pressure and stress for women then men. How women feel the need to please everyone and make sure Christmas is "perfect" and create new traditions to make sure her children remember each and every Christmas as the best one ever.  I can barely hold my shit together and I feel these pressures.  I had a pretty stressful month at work in December plus I tried to force myself to be in a wonderful holiday mood.  In the end, I ended up breaking down, calling my kid a selfish ungrateful brat to his face and passive aggressively yelling at my MIL (I know she still doesn't get it and even if she does, she doesn't care).  And right after that, I went out and cried to myself in my trunk for a while (yesterday was a pretty emotional day).

Anyway....I can't do this again.  I want to have a nice time with my family and not hate them for the whole month of December.  I appreciate that they all want to treat my kids as if they were their own around the holidays but I wish we could spread this out around the whole year instead of micro-focusing it during 25 days of misery.  I was given a suggestion by a good friend that I really am going to heavily consider...travelling during the holidays.  Now...where to go...

No comments:

Post a Comment