I'm on the pursuit of happiness

This coming Friday starts month 9 of my pregnancy.  I'm feeling pretty good considering.  I'm super tired and kind of achy all the time but it's not too bad.  The heat is difficult, though.  It really takes it out of me.  Like yesterday, I worked and of course yahoos had to be out waiting for me to get there to yell at them.  And confiscate their tents.  In 92 degree humid heat.  It was super awesome.  Then I got harassed by my dad last night for not coming over to hang out with him while they were drinking in the heat.  No thank you, I was super hot and tired (and I really don't like being around my dad when he drinks...).  I went home and conked out on the couch for a while then made dinner and just chilled out with my family. 

Strawberries are ready to be picked.  I need it to cool off just a tad so I don't kill myself, I'd like to go and pick soon though! I was thinking about 10-15 lbs of berries.  I'm ready to make some pies.  I have plans to make about 10 pies this year, give out about five of them fresh and freeze about five of them for later use/distribution.  How much would you pay for a strawberry rhubarb pie made by yours truly?  I'd like to make jelly, too.  Maybe this weekend.

I had a super awesome low key birthday party this weekend.  It was really nice. Asher was also pretty good this weekend so that was a nice birthday present from him.  He made a new friend, Tom's girlfriend Ashley's daughter Addison.  It was so cute, we were trying to get them to fall asleep in front of the TV well past their bedtimes and they instead were building a fort/castle out of blankets on the floor.  While they were doing this, Asher crawled up to Addison, kissed her on the lips and then ran away.  It was super cute.  We told him that he had to ask a girl before he could do that and so he said, "Oh, I'm sorry.  Can I come in your castle?"  So cute. 

Anyway, back to work.  Lots to do.  

You starve and near exhaust me, everything I've done I've done for you

Asher has hit his "terrible twos" just in time to turn three.  Everything is a battle. 

"Asher, let's go to the park"

"No, I'm not ready yet" 

"But you want to go to the park"

"NOOOOOO!!!! I SAI D I'M NOT ready!" 

"When will you be ready?" 

"Later, mama, jeez...just go away, okay?  Wait, where are you going?  Don't go away!  DON'T GO AWAY!"

 

Everything is uphill.  It's so stressful.  He literally spent more than an hour fighting us and more than half an hour (not all at once) in time out just over a nap.  Which he didn't ever take.  It wasn't worth the battle anymore, you know?  After you spend an hour and a half fighting with him you are both tired and sad and depressed and it's just time for something else.  I went shopping.  Asher "drove" daddy's car.  I needed a break.  And then, I got into a nice conversation with my mother-in-law who pretty much just spent the time berating my parenting skills and decisions.  So, that helped me get less depressed.  You know, words of encouragement about how much better everyone else is at parenting than I am.  That totally would make me feel great, I mean it did.  I really have a lot to work towards.  Like learning not to answer my phone when any of my parents call me. 

 

I'm pretty sure my new nickname for asher is "whine-ocerous", it was very appropriate this weekend. 

 

He dumped a ton of bath water on me yesterday because he didn't want to be washed.  He did it three times, the third time he soaked me intentionally, the first two times he was just throwing a fit.  Without really thinking I flicked the water off of my hands at him, which of course were covered in Cetaphil...which is not tear-free...and of course I got it into his eyes.  And then he cried, and Ry came in and made me feel guilty (not intentionally) and I wanted to cry and it sucked.  I sucked it up, though, and finished the bath and washed the soap out of my child's eyes.  It was just too much of a stressful weekend.  And of course, I had to end it on a horrible parenting move of getting soap into my child's eyes in a knee-jerk reaction.  Still, it's not an excuse for what I did.  I feel really bad about it. 

 

And, the nightmares are horrible, too.  We spent all last night comforting him due to his scary dreams of the "zappy thing in daddy's car".  When I asked Ry about it, ry told me he stopped Asher from putting a penny into the cigarette lighter the other day, he said he didn't really make a big deal about it.  But...it terrified Asher all night long.  So, only a little sleep for us. 

 

It's been a tough weekend.  I hope we get this out of the way before Seiry is born.  I doubt it, though.  I have to be realistic. 

 

I'm not ready for my birthday, either.  :(

 

I guess I'm just not happy about anything right now.  Sorry. 

All I needed was love, sordid details following

I am so full of person right now.  It's hard to breathe.  Yesterday I seriously hiked around a humongous water plant in Cleveland, up the hill and up the steps.  It seemed  like they only had one direction there, up.  And then we walked about a mile to the next place downtown.  I did a whole lot of walking downtown yesterday.  I was beat.  I tried to go home and take a nap but I couldn't get comfy (thanks stupid cats).  We took Asher to Preston's Hope yesterday, a pretty cool park for younger kids.  He was ecstatic.  Seriously, his face was full of pure joy and bliss.  We packed a picnic lunch and went out there and he was in little kid heaven. 

Last night kind of sucked, though, he had nightmares so he came in and slept with us, meaning he laid diagonally across the bed trying all night to push me and ry out.  I tried to leave to go sleep in the other bed at one point and he freaked out massively.  So, need less to say, my back hurts more than normal today.  And I have my very last dam inspection of the season today.  I'm so tired and achy, I really don't want to go.  But someone must, so it must be me. 

At least once it's done I can work on my grant proposal which is due on June 1st...which I haven't even started.  I can't keep up.  Oh well, one thing at a time.  Oh wait, I have boat training, sampling and monitoring training to do yet.  Gah.

I had something to write about today which I thought about at like 4 am this morning while being kicked in the back by my son and in the bladder by my daughter. But, now I don't remember.  I'm so tired.  

New Spacehog album was supposed to be out yesterday but I can't find it.  I'm sad.  I also want to buy the MGMT album, I just haven't yet.  I'll get it for myself for my birthday perhaps?  Perhaps. 

Well, I thought about the army, dad said son, you're f*cking high

There was a time when I was going to join the army.  Honestly.  Bet you didn't know that.  Or, perhaps you did.  It's kind of ironic (coincidental?  I always get those two wrong, me and Alanis Morriset) because I was going to train in the army to be a water treatment officer or something like that, it's been 13 years don't hold me to remembering the exact terms, and now I am working in local government in the water business some time later.  I guess it's full circle.  It makes me think that perhaps this is always what I was supposed to be doing.  If you believe in that kind of thing.  Which I don't, but sometimes this kind of thing makes me wonder.

I took today off of work even though I can't really afford the time right now.  I just needed a day.  Asher has been super bad lately, I don't know what is wrong with him.  Every. Single. Little. Thing. Is. A. Battle.  I put periods behind each word just to emphasize how much I am stressing each work.  Everything out of my mouth is a challenge for him to fight.  Asher, put your shoes on.  NO! Followed by a tantrum.  Asher, do you what do you want to eat for dinner?  "Pez and cookies."  You can have those for dessert.  NO!  NOT DESSERT!  NOW!  GO AWAY MAMA!.  you get the idea, right?  Rosie cannot get him to nap.  She does things that are counter productive when I'm trying to discipline him, like offer to give him what he wants.  (Who's in charge of whom, eh?)  It got so bad yesterday that he bit me in front of Rosie and Richard and Katya.  It was partially Rosie's fault and Katya's fault, katya's for being bad and Rosie for giving in to Asher when he wanted to be the same kind of bad.  He bit me hard, too.  I have never wanted to shake my son as much as I did yesterday.  Instead, we went to time out in the middle of the driveway with me holding him down until he calmed down and the whole crew just watching in embarrassment.  It was super awesome.

Work is also really stressful right now, trying to get all of my work done, wordsmith some grant applications by June 1st, get the WCP going and ready to roll without me, train new people, learn my new job, research some property stuff, continue to monitor the watershed and get the WMP finalized before I leave.  All in just about 8 weeks, give or take.  So, no stress, right?

Yeah, I think I deserve it, I am taking a "me" day.

Originally I wanted to use a groupon I had bought a while back for a Mani-Pedi but I waited too long to schedule it and they were booked.  So then I wanted to go see Dark Shadows since it came out today but...the first time it plays is during my Dr.s appt and so I can't go see it, either.  I don't want to just stay at home, I will totally just do housework all day and not relax.  I don't know what to do....  This is turning into a wasted day.  I did get a nice long blog typed up.  And I read the news.  And did my social media stuff.  Do I want to go shopping?  Not really....I always get depressed shopping alone.  Or just shopping.  And I don't really need anything.

Anyone want to go see dark shadows with me?  Ever since I heard about it on This American Life I have kinda wanted to see it.  Also, has anyone read 50 Shades of Gray?  I heard it's supposed to be good but I don't know if it's the kind of book I'd like, and there are about 1000 people on the library waiting list and I don't want to buy it unless it's really good.

By the way, Ben Folds Five is back together and putting an album out using Kickstarter.  You should check it out, you can download a free song there, too.  I haven't pledged yet because I don't have an account, perhaps I will later...

Oh, and I got a bunch of emails from Jason's old site I used to write for, www.unsoughtinput.com.  I used to write as Alouette on there, check me out.  Here's some of my old favorites of mine: Career Advice: Do Not Listen to Crazy People, An article about water before I even worked in the water biz (has it always been about water with me?  Geez...) and an article about nerd parents.  You know, as I go back through this stuff, I can't believe how much I wrote.  I'm impressing myself.  Anyway, I should probably let you get on with your day, this might be my longest blog on here ever.

Yeah, it's overwhelming but what else can we do?

You know, I didn't really like MGMT that much when I first heard them but this album has really grown on me.  It's subtle like that. 

It's been a tough week for me.  No more ticks so far, but I also haven't been out too much.  I've been super stressed out at work and at home, everything irritates me and I can't seem to relax or calm down, which causes lots of braxton-hicks contractions.  I decided I'm taking Friday off of work this week even though I don't really have the time (I want as much at home with Seiry as possible, you know?) because I need a "me" day.  I have a mani-pedi that I bought on groupon a while back which I was saving for right before her birth but I think I need it now more than I will need it then.  I also have a dr's appt on Friday so it works out well.  I'd like to get a massage, too, but I don't know if I'll have the time.  Maybe just a nice soak in my mom's huge bath tub. 

Ah, the heartburn is back.  I think it almost never leaves me now. 

The doula thing has been a hassle, too.  My doula never talks to me.  That's not right, is it?  I didn't think so.  I need one who is actually a real doula and isn't just using me to get her certification.  Why does the Cleveland area suck for women's care?  I don't get it. 

I really don't have time to be writing this blog.  I had so many things I wanted to tell you guys, too.  I'll leave you with this one tidbit from the weekend.

So, we are at Little Gym on Sunday with Asher and another mom comes up and chats with me, asking me how far along I am.  I told her I'm about 8 months and she was all like "Oh, you don't even look like it, you're so small!" Which was nice of her, I feel like I've just participated in one of those "eat a bajillion hot dogs as fast as you can" contest.  She asks if we know the sex, we tell her it's a girl.  She asks the name and we tell her "Seiry" and she immediately (way too quickly and loudly) responds "OH MY GOD, I LOVE IT!!!!"  The enthusiasm never reaches her eyes, though.  On our way home Ry and I both have a pretty good laugh because we both caught that she hates the name but she had her pre-planned response ready.  It was refreshing, actually, I'm so tired of people telling me that "we still have time before the baby is born to change our minds" or "Don't you mean Suri, like Tom Cruise's daughter?". 

Anyway, I really need to get a bunch of work done today. I'll miss you all until next time.

I'm seriously done with ticks already

Hello nasty, where you been? Probably in someones
body crevices.

I'm done with ticks.  I'm tired of having them.  I agree, they were novel in the beginning, with their disgusting habit of sneaking onto my person and trying to make me host more than one obvious parasite at a time.  I mean who doesn't want to hang out with tiny little creepy creatures who make it a habit of spreading an incurable disease and likes to spend their time in what one website called "body crevices and folds"?  I know I do.  Oh, wait, I meant the opposite of that. 

I have had three ticks in the last 8 or 9 days.  I am now on a tick Jihad.  I have never had ticks this often in one season ever, even when I worked for Davey Tree.  I must be delicious or maybe it's the sweet blood from Seiry forcing me to practically have an IV of sugary substances at all times.  That and the fact that we had such a mild winter. 

The message today is fuck ticks. You know how ticks eat your blood?  They use a little scalpel mouth part to cut you Emo style and then stick their entire head into your skin rooting around until they hit some pay-blood.  And then they hang on until they have gluttoned themselves so much on your blood that they literally have to throw up extra stomach contents back into your skin.  Yes ticks, you are one of the most disturbing creatures that I deal with.  You are like tiny little buffet eating serial killers, but just without killing but definitely with the fat family at a buffet problem.

I probably shouldn't use DEET so I've been looking into other treatment options.  I think I'm going to try to make this recipe for homemade bug repellent (specifically for ticks): http://www.ehow.com/how_5566738_make-eucalyptus-tick-repellent.html

I'll probably just smell like an old lady's house, but if it keeps the ticks away, well, I'm cool with that.  I've also read that tea tree oil and NEEM oil can be useful as well.  I guess I'll find out.