The party is just me in the corner

I am in a bad mood for no reason today.  I have no idea why.  I mean, both kids (kinda) slept in til 7:30 and that is a freaking miracle in itself.  I got my hair cut and highlighted yesterday but...I don't like it.  I don't know.  Ry told me it looks good.  I don't know why I don't like it.  I wish I had gotten it more colored than I did.  It's also...kinda poofy.  I hope that once I wash out the styling product it calms down a bit.  She was giving me a "no maintenance" kind of hair cut....I hope that it really is.  I feel like I look silly.

Oh, and also I hate how long my primadonna husband takes in the bathroom every single time.  It's like he needs a half hour of prep time before his bathroom necessities begin.  It drives me crazy because I can't even  pee without at least one kid hanging on me but he gets four or five bathroom respites a day.  And he gets to shower without any kids during the day.  If I try to take a shower in the day at least everyone is there to get a  matinee performance in my tiny ass bathroom. And they leave the door wide open to let all of the nice warm residual shower air out.  That's why I have to shower at night, after the kids go to bed.  Cause I don't want an audience.  If I wanted an audience while I was in the shower then I would be doing it in the "Champagne room" and getting paid a lot more for it than I do at my current job.

I wanted to have left for the store already at this point but I'm still waiting on the bathroom primadonna to get out of there and get some clothes on.  Ahh......the lamentations of a parent.  I miss the days where I didn't have to do anything except wonder what I was going to do with all of my free time on the weekends.  I need to spend one day in a multiverse where I didn't have kids. I would come back but....just one day to see what life would have been like.  Maybe I'd come back and totally be thankful for my kids and life and feel great to wake up in the middle of the night all the time and have my son tell me that all the food that I cook tastes like the worst food he has ever eaten.  Or...maybe I'd hang out there and enjoy being an adult child for a while longer....

I crashed my car into the bridge and sat and watched it burn

So........

First rant of the day is...why are there all of these "no kids" weddings of late?  And no kid receptions.  Why do you even other inviting me?  You have alienated half of my family.  I understand that you might be thinking "oh, what a great opportunity for you to get a baby sitter and come hang out with adults" and what I am thinking is "I have to find a sitter and hopefully it's someone who won't let my heathens burn down my house.  And then I'll spend the whole night worrying if they are burning the house down or if Asher has trampled his sister into the ground or if Seiry bit the babysitter (or the cat). Oh, and I can't ask my usual sitter because she is 73 and just spend the whole day watching them.  F@*%$"

Why aren't my kids invited to your wedding?  Are they second class citizens?  Oh well.  I really like to go to weddings but...without my kids, it's probably a no go.  I get it but....if you want me and other parents to come..oh wait, maybe you don't know any other parents.  Well, just wait till you have kids and people ask you to come to their "adults only" events and then what?  Even if I do get a sitter, Seiry is currently super Mommy-centric right now and she holds grudges (meaning she won't sleep that night and is a horrible human being the whole next day to pay you back for going out for one night).  So, that's awesome, too. Just wait...you're day will come.  And you will be reading my blog and saying, oh man, she is such a soothsayer, she really does know what she's talking about and I totally relate to everything she says.  Best blog ever.

Oh wait, you won't be saying that, because it's 99% not true.   But that 1%, man you will really connect with.

I totally had another reason to write a blog today but after Asher just trampled his sister and is now prodding her with a little stick I really can't focus on much of anything.

So...

Light em' up-up-up, I'm on fire

So, we are fighting a losing battle with Seiry and her sleep habits.  She is a night owl, just like most of the bratty 9 month olds out there.  For some reason, kids start sleeping through the night normally at about 7-8 months old.  Then, all of a sudden, they are assholes and decide that their night isn't complete unless they are keeping everyone they love up for two hours in the wee hours of the dark sleepy time. 

Well, last night we took a stand. And 40 sobbying, snotty, screaming, lonely minutes later...she was asleep.  We were frazzled and stressed but she slept like the proverbial baby (what a misnomer, no baby sleeps "like a baby"  or if that does mean that, I'm pretty sure that sleeping like a baby means that you absoluely refuse to sleep unless you are being held and you will scream bloody murder if you don't get your way).  By the way, none of this pics are mine, obviously.  Thank you for commiserating, internets.

Know that the path is never long

So...I hit Ryan's car today.  In the driveway.  Parked behind my car.  Cause that's how awesome I am.  I suck.  I told him last night jokingly that if he didn't move it into the garage that I might accidentally hit it.  And this morning, i looked at it, noticed it, then completely forgot about it as I was trying to angle out of the garage.  Awwww.....yeaaaa... But, it made me think...I am pretty sure this is the first car accident that I have been in that is my fault.  So, I guess that's a pretty good track record.

Nope.  I still suck.  I wonder if this is any indication on what kind of day I will have today.  I am going to a canoe livery opening today.  Maybe I shouldn't drive.

I got Teavana tea the other day.  It's awesome.  White tea earl gray.  For the win.  But...I lost it.  It really isn't my day.

So back up some more, and let me take it off

A reflection of the week.  It seems all my weeks end up being so similar to other weeks that I don't have stuff to write even though stuff has happened to me. Like mean lady and then forced to apologize lady (the one and same and it wasn't me).

I have discovered a love-hate relationship with running.  I kind of hate running when I start.  When I finish I feel great.  When I hear a good song it makes me want to run.  What a weird girl.

Anyway, no time to write, seems like a likely story.  What an excuse.

I won't regret saying this, this thing, that I'm saying

I'm not sure when in my life that it happened, when I began to only feel any accomplishment of mine was validated if it was received well on Facebook. To the point where I felt that events in my life were only great if they got so many likes.  I mean, I am obviously not overwhelmingly like that but it's enough that I have started to feel Facebook depressed.  I wonder if that's a thing.  I'm going to look it up, hold on. Yup...good old internet comes through again.  According to this article, which is the only one I read because I am watching both kids and writing a blog and obviously this means I have a whole bunch of time to do a real bang up research job on this topic, I am in the secondary category, the "lack of feedback" makes a girl real sad.  I mean, envy is a little bit as well, but only in the fact that other people get tons of feedback and have conversations on facebook and all I get is a few thumbs ups from people who probably pity my pathetic Facebook existence.   

Oh well, honestly I don't really care. Or rather, I am going to make myself not care.  I am going on a strike against Facebook.  I will continue to occasionally check in on Facebook but I am going to try to stop obsessively checking it several times a day.  I mean, mostly I just read George Takai and I fucking love science.  I don't need to prove to myself that the things I do are meaningful by getting a bunch of "likes" on Facebook.  I can do that by being proud of myself and sharing my accomplishments and failures with my friends and family the way people used to do.  By blog.  Wait, no, I fucked that up again.  I mean by talking and emailing and calling and writing long handwritten letters and blogging.  Well, I have to vent somewhere, right?  And, I can feel solace in the fact that this is a very under read blog and that no one will really hear what I have to say unless they search it out.  Or I post it on Facebook.  Which I probably will.  But not as obsessively.  Maybe.

As hollow as the O in God

The Mormons came to my house today.  They gave us a card with their Disney castle headquarters on it hoping to sway us into the faith.  It was not quite like the last time where they shoveled my driveway for me.  Well, not my driveway but the neighbor's drive way but who's really paying attention? It's always so weird for me, I wonder what kind of balls you have to have A: ask someone to spend their weekends going door to door knocking on complete stranger's doors like a travelling soul saving salesperson, and B: to be the person who just knocks on complete stranger's door and almost sickeningly jubilant tells me what a great day it is to be a Mormon.

After Ryan politely told the girl we were not interested in unsolicited soul service we discussed Mormons a little bit.  Ry wanted to know if they would let him see their Mormon underwear and then maybe let us film a Harlem Shake video with Mormons in their sacred bullet and fire proof underroos.  I told him I didn't think that they would let us film that at all even if they were down for doing the Harlem Shake (I mean, who isn't?).  I did find out that even though that LDS site says the Garments can only be gotten at the Latter Day Saint's special groupie store, I found some on Etsy.  Cause Etsy is awesome.

Who wants to film a Mormon Harlem Shake?  Or perhaps a Mormon/Amish combo?  I mean, as long as we are being religiously insensitive right now, let's really go for it, eh? I checked and there isn't one with both.....