I don't care I don't care if I'm losing my way

Good morning, good evening, and if I don't see ya, goodnight.

I'm wondering about putting my book up on a blog.  Chapter by chapter.  I'd love to have some feedback.  Maybe a tublr or something.  I dunno.  I'm open to suggestions.  I don't want to self publish, but I also long for someone else to give me feedback on it.

I miss the traffic I get from facebook on here.  I wonder if I got ryan to post my blog posts if people would come talk to me.  I miss facebook a little, it's been about six weeks of no facebook at all.  I don't miss facebook, let me clarify.  I miss seeing people i care about and their posts.  I don't miss the bullshit.  I also don't miss feeling like a slave to my phone with need to check it all the time.

Our work xmas party was yesterday.  My employees, surrounded by a ton of other people, even when they were playing cards, had to check their phones constantly.  If there was even a second of free time, they were thumbing their phones.  I don't want to be like that, and I don't want my kids to be like that.

Just booked tickets to Atlanta for Dude's bday.  Should be fun.  We are going to a dungeon.

I won't regret saying this, this thing, that I'm saying

I'm not sure when in my life that it happened, when I began to only feel any accomplishment of mine was validated if it was received well on Facebook. To the point where I felt that events in my life were only great if they got so many likes.  I mean, I am obviously not overwhelmingly like that but it's enough that I have started to feel Facebook depressed.  I wonder if that's a thing.  I'm going to look it up, hold on. Yup...good old internet comes through again.  According to this article, which is the only one I read because I am watching both kids and writing a blog and obviously this means I have a whole bunch of time to do a real bang up research job on this topic, I am in the secondary category, the "lack of feedback" makes a girl real sad.  I mean, envy is a little bit as well, but only in the fact that other people get tons of feedback and have conversations on facebook and all I get is a few thumbs ups from people who probably pity my pathetic Facebook existence.   

Oh well, honestly I don't really care. Or rather, I am going to make myself not care.  I am going on a strike against Facebook.  I will continue to occasionally check in on Facebook but I am going to try to stop obsessively checking it several times a day.  I mean, mostly I just read George Takai and I fucking love science.  I don't need to prove to myself that the things I do are meaningful by getting a bunch of "likes" on Facebook.  I can do that by being proud of myself and sharing my accomplishments and failures with my friends and family the way people used to do.  By blog.  Wait, no, I fucked that up again.  I mean by talking and emailing and calling and writing long handwritten letters and blogging.  Well, I have to vent somewhere, right?  And, I can feel solace in the fact that this is a very under read blog and that no one will really hear what I have to say unless they search it out.  Or I post it on Facebook.  Which I probably will.  But not as obsessively.  Maybe.

Do I really seem this innocent?

So, over the weekend I was kind of being playful on Facebook and here is the corresponding conversation.  Those of you who know me (insert all of you who read this blog) know, I would hope, that I was being facetious.  I was going to continue to follow up on this thread with Chris but...I just couldn't do that to Mr. Way-too-serious.  I had internet guilt.  I guess I'm just not cut out to be a troll.  I just thought you'd appreciate this.  I know I did. 

You're so vain, you probably think this post is about you

A question I pose to you, faithful readers.  Why am I so dumb.  Here's proof. I mean, why do I think I can argue with these people?  I don't get it, how can you only hear what you want to hear and live your life happily away, pointing fingers at everyone else and finding no reason to ever doubt what you hear second or third hand.  Or on Fox Network?

I'll post more if I get any more good responses.  I'm sure I will.  Really I don't know why I'm even getting involved.