What's worse than constantly wanting to throw up all the time but not being able to throw up at all?

I'm not sure, but if you find something that is worse, let me know so I can dwell on how much worse it would be if that were how I felt every day for 6 or so hours.  I will not be doing this again, and if it had been this bad with Asher I think I would have considered not doing it again at all.  This is just peachy and awesome and, blahg.  I can't even bullshit myself at this point. See, I probably shouldn't be writing this early in the morning when Asher refused to let anyone sleep last night (I feel that he must have thought at one point:If I can't sleep no one can) on top of feeling like I would love to throw up and get it over with when I know that a: there will be no throwing up and b: even if there was, it wouldn't make it end.  I would just feel like this again and some more until I threw up or wished I could throw up again. 

Seriously, go hug your mother for going through this for you.  You had better.  She deserves more than that but it's a start. 

Finally back in my office.  Of sorts.  The cube walls haven't come in yet so it's just a big empty room with a bunch of desks in it so far but soon I will have my own slice of office again.  It's nice, I guess, and they expect me to be falling all over myself to congratulate them on what a great job they did in here but quite frankly, I am not impressed.  I would be more impressed if this hadn't taken 4 months of me not having anywhere to call a work station, if I had had warning about the demolition (they are currently demolishing a ladies bathroom that I don't use but other women who work here do use, and I was told they demanded management not pull another "jessica", so now my name is well known with unforcasted demolitions...joy), and if the whole thing wasn't just a gigantic kick in the face.  Half of my shit is still covered in this ridiculously sticky dust and half of my stuff is missing. 

But you know what?  I have just overreacted this whole episode.  Four months of overreaction.  You know. 

Backdoor cracked, we don't need a key

So, this blog has been an awful lot about cooking and not a whole lot about anything else.  So, I promise some different content.  Just because I enjoy changing it up and keep you on your toes.

I just found a book through an indirect recommendation from Wil Wheaton, it's a steampunk zombie series called Boneshaker by Cherie Priest.  I know, right?  I'm sure you just peed your self a little, too, just like I did when I saw that.  In fact, I don't just think you did, I know you did.  Just a little excitement pee, it's okay, I won't tell anyone.  It happens.  I bought it and I'll let you know how it is, there are three more of them when I'm finished with this one.  How exciting.  Also, just found out the last book in Guillermo Del Toro's series The Strain comes out on Oct 11th.  Also something awesome to look forward to, you know?  It's called The Night Eternal.  I read the first vampire book by Cherie Priest (the one that was actually recommended by Wil Wheaton), called Bloodshot, and it was good. Not very smutty but witty and charming and good.  I liked it and I recommend it.  Especially if you listen to the audiobook, man, the woman, Natalie Ross, who read it, was awesome.  Seriously she was the best reader I've heard so far.  I reserved more audiobooks read by her from the library, unbiased as to who the author was!  We will see how that turns out...

I only have 12 days of Beach Body Insanity left.  12 days.  I can't believe it.  I honestly didn't think I would make it this far.  So, go me.  And go to A, too.  Cause we are in this together.  I'm planning on posting my comments on each day's workout on here, if you are interested, I'm gonna work on it for the next week and post them by month (two months total).  I think some of the stuff A and I say about the workout gets pretty funny.  Also, I need to ask A but I want to put up some of her comments, too.  Edited, of course, but still, she gets pretty amusing.  So, look forward to that sometime in the near future.

Did I mention I got kicked out of yet another office?  That they are tearing down the wall in that office, too?  I feel like my middle name should have been Kali because I seem to bring destruction with me where ever I go around here.  I put my office on a cart this morning and set up right by the front door, partially to make a point and  partially because it was the only free internet hookup I could find, but then I got told that I couldn't set my desk up there and to commandeer the smaller conference room for this week as it wouldn't be used and then to see where I needed to go next week.  I was upset about it earlier but now I just don't care enough to care.  And I'm pretty hopped up on caffeine and so I'm too hyper to be mad.  Oh well, I'm sure it'll catch up to me eventually.

You're alive but sometimes I forget

So, guys, this is it.  Big post number 400.  It kind of snuck up on me, honestly I wasn't expecting it to happen.  Really.  But here it is and there is little to no fanfaire or luster to it.  But there is a video of my office in it's current state.  So, enjoy that.  I narrate it, too.  I actually haven't watched it yet.  Let's watch it together, shall we?

My office situation as of August 23, in this year 2011:

For a minute there I lost myself...

Office-geddon, Day 1:

Day one was the biggest surprise, seeing as how I was informed about my office being destroyed while I was stuck in a two hour meeting so there was pretty much nothing I could do to prevent damage to my personal effects.  Also, I was told it'd be okay, that they would "work around me" and I would be able to stay where I was with minimal interference in my work.  Here's what I came back to:

 Day 2: 
I just knew it was going to get worse.  I was told today that I was "over reacting" and that once the power was returned to my office that I would be able to work there again with no problems.  I was also told that I needed to quit whining and that "it's really not that bad".  Uh huh.  I think I work with a bunch of lunatics if this "isn't really that bad".  Oh, and do you see all of those little floaties?  I need a respirator just from taking these pictures.



Yeah, have a good laugh now.  I'm so glad you find this funny.



Back in the day things were made to last.  At least my office put up a good fight.



Day 3:

I've given up caring.  No one else does around here.  I finally found myself some mostly temporary workspace (at least until someone needs the conference room) and a spare laptop that John and I are sharing currently.  It's good to feel appreciated where you work.  I'm glad they appreciate all the hard work I do for them.  There's nothing like a good old office razing to increase employee motivation.  



That echo of a wall used to divide my office from my sanctuary



This is all that's left of my office.  Well, this and all the stuff in the dumpster already.

John's desk.  Looks like it hasn't been used in 10 years.  Thanks for covering up our stuff and protecting it, guys. 

I'm just gonna keep on not "over reacting" while borrowing people's stuff and looking for new jobs.

You're always there for music and me

My brother had a pretty awesome Nerf war Bday party last night.  I don't have my normal computer so I don't have any way to put photos on here at all for either of my topics today, expect photos in the next couple of days, hopefully.  That's all I'll say about the party without the pics for now.

So, I come into work today knowing full well that I won't have a wall to my office anymore.  I wasn't expecting the true damage that I walked into, though.  Not at all.  I guess I should have expected my office to be covered in a patina of dust from 100 years of having walls in the office.  Everything was covered in dust, nothing covered or protected.  So, there is that. 

Then, I was told that my sanctuary, which I just finished cleaning and arranged, was supposed to be safe as it was protected by a support wall.  This was not the truth, they ripped a hole in the other wall for no reason.  For no reason at all.  Really, guys?  Really?  Were you getting a little crowbar happy?  In fact, the crow bar is still hanging stuck in the wall.  I'll post the picture when I can. 

Oh, did I mention that they shut off the power to my office, too?  So it's a horrible mess, I don't have any power, it's in unworkable conditions, and I'm still expected to do my job.  Thanks, guys.  Really, I mean it.  Thanks.  Motivation is at an all time low.  I didn't think it could get this low. 

Gah.

To make matters the worst, I planted a tomato plant, Giada the Tomata, in a spare sparse garden bed here and I've been taking care of her, watering her and weeding and tying her up and everything.  And when I left on Thursday she had a nice half ripe tomato on her, the first one.  I expected to have a nice beautiful tomato when I came into work today.  Guess what I found instead?  Someone took it.  My first tomato from her.  I am not against sharing my crops with people here, but no one else helped me grow her so I feel that I should have first rights.  How dare someone steal my first tomato.  It was the final nail in the demotivation coffin today. 

And I'm stressing big time about going to NYC and leaving my little bear.  So that doesn't help with my overall mood.  If Ry was staying home with him I would feel 1000% better.  I wish he wasn't going to Niagara Falls.  I know that is selfish and not nice but I can't feel good about us both being gone.  I'm home with Asher a lot when Ry travels.  I just wish he could reciprocate.  I cannot even begin to tell you how stressed I am about this.  I've been trying not to think about it.  I haven't been succeeding.

You can't keep letting it get you down.

If I was smart, I would have taken pictures of the desolation that has became of my office. Because, you know, it took me 8 months to get the moldy carpeting out of my office and eventually I had to do it myself, but it only takes fifteen minutes to decide to tear all the walls down in all the offices/storage areas in the part of the plant I work in.  Without telling us that it was gonna happen. It was seriously like the beginning those Douglas Adam Hitchhiker books where no one tells Earth it's gonna be demolished to make way for an astro-superhighway.  Except I didn't get a Ford Prefect to come and save me from my office and I'm pretty sure there were more crow bars and sledge hammers in mine.  They started it around me yesterday and are continuing today while I'm off work.  Apparently I'm getting downgraded to sharing the whole space with engineers and new labbies in cubicles.  Downgraded from an office to a cube.  By sunday I will have finally joined the cubicle army.  I think I should get at least a certificate or something. At least now I know how they feel about me.

Here's a secret for you...I applied for another job and I feel good about it.  Maybe I shouldn't, this agency never has called me back for the million times I've applied before, why should they now?  Maybe because now I'm awesome?  Wow, ego much?  Get back down where you belong, ego.  Humility and humbleness, welcome back.

I did get out on a boat yesterday, such a perfect day for it, so this week didn't end on such a horrible note.  Ry said my office was ghetto last week when he and Asher met me for lunch.  Wait til he sees it now.  I just called my boss and asked him to take some photos...if he does I'll post them when I see them.