I guess I could but if only I would

So, yeah, making pies.  Put your orders in.  Apparently everyone wants one for free, though.  I can't do it that way anymore.  Apples are expensive, even when they are in season, and my usual free apple hookup has run dry this year (her tree is on vacation).  So, you want apple pies, you either have to come out and help me clean and core all the apples (in which case I'll give a discount) or you have to give me the apples for your pie (in which case I'll give you a really good discount).  I'm not trying to be greedy or anything, or even to make a profit, just to break even with the cost of making them and the time that goes into it.  I like to think my apple pies taste better than the garbage you get from the grocery store fresh and especially the frozen shit...but that's my opinion so I guess it's biased.  Except for those of you who know me, it has taken years for me to feel that anything I cook tastes good, even if it did, so there is that. 

Anyway, I digress, pies. 

I have been put to the challenge to make a grape pie.  I'm gonna do it, though I've never tried before.  Here are the two recipes I found that I am torn between: this one from Allrecipes.com:

1 recipe pastry for a 9 inch double crust pie
5 cups Concord grapes
1 1/4 cups white sugar
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 pinch salt
3/4 teaspoon lemon juice
1 1/2 tablespoons butter

Directions

1.Wash grapes, and remove the skins. Save the skins. Place grape pulp in a large saucepan; mash a few at the bottom to release their juice. Cook over medium low heat until grapes come to a full boil. Remove pulp from heat, and press through a food mill to remove seeds. Combine pulp and skins in a large bowl. Stir in lemon juice.

2.In a separate bowl, mix sugar, flour, and salt. Stir into grape mixture. Pour filling into pastry crust, and dot with butter or margarine. Cover with second pastry shell. Flute edges, and cut little slits in the top crust for steam to escape.

3.Bake at 400 degrees F (205 degrees C) for 45 to 50 minutes, or until crust is brown and juice begins to bubble through slits in top crust. Cool.

And this one from nyfolklore.org:

5 1/2 cups Concord grapes, washed
about 1 cup sugar, depending on the sweetness of the grapes
1 tablespoon tapioca
Pastry for a 9-inch pie

Pop the skins off the grapes by pinching them at the end opposite the stem; set them aside. Put the pulp (without water) into a heavy pan, bring it to a boil, and let it boil 5 to 6 minutes. Put it through a colander or food mill to remove the seeds. Pour the hot pulp over the skins and let the mixture sit for 5 hours. ("This colors the pulp and makes it pretty.") Add the sugar and tapioca, then pour the mixture into the pie crust and dot with butter. Put on the top crust. (Irene uses a "floating" top crust—a circle of dough slightly smaller than the top of the pie—because it is easier than crimping top and bottom together and it also makes a pretty purple ring around the edge.) Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes. Lower the temperature to 350 degrees and cook 20 minutes more until the crust is browned and the juice begins to bubble up.

I think I prefer the second one due to the brevity of the ingredients list, sometimes less is better, you really get to taste the main ingredient, instead of hiding it behind a bunch of spices and stuff.  I don't know...I guess once I get the grapes we will find out, right? :)  Wish me luck...

Hanging out with a mushroom man, frying turnips in my frying pan

CSA post this week!  Here's the rundown of what we got:

1 lb pumpkin sage linguine
2 lb log of butter made from grass-grazed, organic milk
2 ct eggplant
2 red peppers
2 ct winter squash (varieties include butternut, acorn, spaghetti, honey bear, heart of gold, and a few more)
approx 1.5 lbs heirloom tomatoes
1 lb yellow wax beans
Quarter peck Gala apples
1 head leaf lettuce

Any goombas around to
throw these at?

The story on the tomatoes...so we get an email about the heirlooms that says they didn't get a hold of the Amish guy soon enough so they won't be heirlooms but just slicing tomatoes.  No big deal.  We get to the back of the truck and find out that the tomatoes are not happening at all.  Also, no big deal.  It happens.  So they are substituting one of the following:  apples, cantaloupe, turnips or kale.  It went kind of like this:

Turnip and potato fritters...delish!

Truck guy:  what do you want to substitute? 

Me:  Hmm....I've never had them before, give me the turnips! 

He looks at me, shrugs, and then gives me like 3 lbs of turnips.  There were a lot of turnips.  Good thing I had friends to come over and help me eat them all.  I was a little nervous about how they would turn out but...they were delicious!  I ended up using this recipe from Simplyrecipes.com, I used all of my turnips and made a double batch.  So good. 

Planning on cooking the eggplant, peppers and summer squash with the pasta tonight.  If it turns out good I'll post photos...

And the apples this week?  Absolutely amazing.  Did I mention how much I love doing this CSA?  There is talk that they might do a winter CSA as well...oh I hope they do!  I'm already excited. 

Oh, and a side note, the 2lb log of butter is 5inches tall and 6 inches long.  It's absurd.  And awesome. 

A normal sized Gala apple for size comparison

Fresh peach pie, oh my, what a day, CSA...

Sorry this took so long to get to, I'm already picking up this week's CSA today.   I just had a problem getting the pics off my phone, my work computer sucks more now than it ever did before.  I wonder why...anyway, here's the list of last week's Fresh Fork bag contents. 

6 ears super sweet Miria 301 corn

3 lbs yukon gold potatoes

1 lb grassfed ground beef

2 ct green bell peppers

1 lb green beans

Approx 1.5 lbs Flaming Fury Lucky 13 and John Boy peaches (freestone peaches)

2 ct cucumbers 

2 ct yellow summer squash (probably last of the summer already)

8 oz bag or bunch of kale

1 pint heirloom cherry tomatoes

First off, some of the cherry tomatoes were moldy again.  It's kinda sad but we redeemed the ones we could.  Asher ate them all as snacks, he's a cherry tomato fiend!

Before we bake...I was too short on time to fold lattice

Also, due to a vacation (NYC trip) we had extra food I ordered this week, we got double peaches, double green beans, milk, lettuce, luna brand veggie burgers and cheese.  I had all these peaches.  Three pounds of peaches.  What do you do with three pounds of peaches, you might ask?  These were the best tasting peaches I've had all year, too.  So good.  Of course, I made pie.  Delicious deep dish pie.  And two little cobblers with the left over peaches.  Here's the pics from that.  

Yum!

We grilled the summer squash and the corn with the luna burger veggie burgers.  Awww....those veggie burgers.  They were awesome.  I really liked them.  They were huge!  I shoulda taken pics of them but I wasn't thinking about it.  And ryan does something to the squash before he grills it that makes it like eating squashy heaven.  It was a great dinner. 

Sweet corn is awesome.  Don't come near me, I won't share with you!

Fighting crime, one leek at a time, must be CSA time

I know that I started this waaay too late, I should have been writing about my CSA (community supported agriculture) adventures since I began back in June, but better late than never, right?  I'm going to combine a few weeks of CSA in this blog, but it still won't be very long, I promise not to keep you too long. 

Let me just start with this fact:  I still have spelt berries.  I tried cooking with them once and I really didn't like them and have never gotten up the courage (or the time) to play with them again.  Spelt berries came in the first or second week of the CSA and I still have them.  Isn't that sad?  At least they don't go bad quickly. 

The CSA has made me a better cook.  I feel much more confident in my cooking skills and I cook maybe 6 days out of 7 a week (unless we have a busy weekend planned...).  I actually enjoy cooking now, and it's always exciting to see what yummy foods I'm gonna get this week, there's usually something in each bag that I don't eat often or haven't ever tried (like spelt berries...). 

Anyway...we are going to cover week 11 and 13 (I was on vacation for week 12 and missed bacon! :(  it's okay, though, because I just ordered the bacon for my vacation make up package, so it'll even out in the end).  Week 11 had this yummy arrangement:

1 4-oz package goat chevre cheese from Lucky Penny Farm
1 pint of blackberries
6 ears corn
1 pint heirloom cherry tomatoes (multi-color)
2 ct zucchini (dark green, light green, or golden...we have a good mix this week)
2 ct yellow summer squash
Approx 1.5 lbs red slicing tomatoes
Quarter-lb basil
2 green bell peppers
1 large black opal eggplant
1 large candy onion

Hi!  I'm a leek.  Don't be intimidated,
I taste better than most onions.

I also had leeks left over from the previous week, which I had no idea what to do with.  Ry told me I should make some Leek Potato soup so I found this recipe and quickly went to work.  I picked up some potatoes from a roadside farm stand in Mantua and got started.  I'm probably going to try to start taking pictures of how things turn out, as it stands I have no photos to show you right now.  I had to substitute 2% milk for whole milk but everything else (except the garnish) I had and went into the soup.  I cut the corn right off the cob, used one of the two bell peppers, two leeks, celery I already had in the fridge, the fresh potatoes, and farm fresh milk from the CSA that I buy extra each week.  I am really proud to say that everything in the soup except the little bit of flour and the celery was local grown.  That's pretty impressive, right?  Right?  I was impressed with myself.  And the chowder...it was sooo good.  So good. 

The eggplant went with the summer squash and zucchini to be stir fried with a little bit of olive oil and quinoa that was made with veggie stock.  Home made veggie stock. I make veggie stock like once a month or so now and freeze it to make rice or quinoa with, it's a great way to use any veggies that are starting to look a bit past their prime or to use the cuttings and extra pieces.  And it tastes soooo good.  It's different every time but it's still so good.  And so easy to make.  And cheap cheap cheap!

Week 13 had the following goodies in it:

1 yellow doll watermelon

2 ct eggplant, some mixed colors may be included
1 quart hot Hungarian peppers
1 lb clover honey
1 medium cantaloupe
Approx 1 lb heirloom tomatoes (about 1 large or 2 small)
2 summer squash
1 pint mixed baby sweet peppers
Quarter Peck Golden Supreme apples (about 5 to 6 apples, very crisp, yellow apple)

Now in technicolor!

Approx 1 lb slicing tomatoes

So, unfortunately I'm pretty sure that they shorted me on the regular tomatoes, I got 2 huge heirlooms and that's all.  So that is sad, sometimes they forget to put all the stuff in the bag.  I guess it happens.  And man, do I have a lot of peppers.  I mean, a lot of peppers.  So many I have no idea what to do with them.  The cantaloupe was huge!  And the watermelon was so little and cute, Asher keeps saying "that watermelon is Asher sized!"  And the eggplant.  It's neon purple.  Awesome. 

So the plan this week...I'm going to string the peppers up to dry, I'm not sure what to do with them yet.  I'll probably use them occasionally to spice things up or make salsa.  Any suggestions?  I'm not overly fond of peppers so I don't often cook with them.  Most of the stuff this week is just eat "as is", the apples, cantaloupe, tomatoes, and watermelon.  So, not so much for recipes...but the squash and eggplant will make in into my weekly veggie quinoa. 

By the way, all the photos were borrowed from the internet...I'll take my own next time, I promise.

Until next time....

Strawberry Marshmallow Filled Cupcakes Forever

So, an actual recipe from me.  I guess not so much a recipe but telling you how Jen and I made a low dairy delicious filled cupcake masterpiece last night. 

We started out planning on making this recipe from Giada for strawberry and mascarpone filled cupcakes.  I couldn't find Mascarpone at the super Walmart, though, and didn't have time to search all over the place. I did end up buying sliced frozen strawberries.  And marshmallow creme, for this recipe which was a back up plan, marshmallow creme filling for cupcakes.  But...you know me...I forgot to buy shortening. 

So, we had cupcakes made and were one ingredient short of creating either masterpiece.  So, what did we do, you might wonder?  We improvised. 

We do this a lot, and usually it does not always turn out well for us.  Until last night.  When we rocked the house hardcore.  Here's what we did to make the  yummiest filled cupcakes ever.  (Okay, maybe not ever but they are pretty awesome if I do say so myself)

Ingredients: 8 oz of sliced strawberries (frozen or fresh)
                    2 tbs sugar
                    1 jar of marshmallow creme

It's so simple I can't believe no one has done this before.  (I did look but I didn't find anything like this...)  All we did was cook the strawberries in a pan (about 8 oz) on medium-low heat for about 10 min with 2 tablespoons of sugar, stirring regularly.  Basically like you are making jam.  Then, remove from heat and while the strawberry mixture is all hot and gooey, you mash it with a hand masher until it's a pretty consistent texture.  It still needs to be warm (but not necessarily hot), add the marshmallow creme a little at a time and mix it until the whole jar is mixed evenly into the strawberries. 

Next you put it into a piping bag and start filling cupcakes by pushing the tip of the bag into the cupcake and squeezing until the stuff comes out the top.  We also spread a little of the filling around on the top, too, instead of using a frosting.  We figured frosting would make these gems too sweet. 

Don't they just look delicious? Cause they are. And usually I am always disappointed with what we cook. But these were sooo good!

As a side note, I also made homemade guacamole last night, too. Soooooo good. Last night was a good night for cooking for me. So good.

Wonderful recipe, if by "peas" you meant "mayonnaise".

A friend of mine recently posted a link to this recipe by Paula Deen for "English Peas" on her facebook page.  After studying the recipe and reading about 4 of the 24 pages of comments I reposted due to it's high standard of quality.  I was directed in the comments to other culinary goldmines such as these two beauties by Rachel Ray, Pineapple Wedges and Late Night Bacon.

It makes me wonder at the level of culinary schooling one needs to write these recipes.  I assume that these are not written by our celebrity chefs, I hope they have more self respect than that. But maybe not.  I don't think it's too much to assume that most people have the basic cooking skills to open a can of peas or microwave bacon by the time they are in high school.   And I mean everyone.  I don't think there exists a teenager (except for those who strictly follow their dietary restrictions and if you are one of those then hats of to you.  Well done) who hasn't desperately tried to make bacon in the microwave in the middle of the night.  And most college kids skip the pot and eat straight out of the can, but, we can assume that it's not because they don't know how to cook the contents of the can but due to sheer laziness. 

Now, I'll give her a break on the pineapple, the first time you try to cut one is always a challenge, and they just look weird.  Anyway...

I really liked the comments on these recipes.  I think my favorite one is from the English Peas recipe by Modhippie1_10920:

You people writing these reviews need to get a life! Don't you have anything better to do? Did anyone stop to think that there might actually be some little newleywed wife out there, far away from mother,family or friends to teach her-perhaps married to a military man where they got stationed away from home quickly-and Paula might've added a simple recipe like these "English Peas" to be helpful to someone like that? Your mothers really were right when they said "If you can't say anything, don't say anything at all."

So, yeah...I love how offended and slighted people get when other people tease a celebrity they love.  Really, Hippie?  Why do you care if people are making fun of a recipe describing how to butter up and cook a can of peas?  It's a recipe to COOK BUTTERED PEAS.  If you don't know how to open a can and put it in a pot with some butter you must either be a five year old kid or mentally disabled, either way you should not be allowed near hot cooking devices.  It's probably safer for you to stick with the late night bacon. 

And, let me point out what a pretentious recipe it is, seeing as how it's not even American Peas (Paula is supposed to be a good old southern girl...) but English Peas. English Peas?!  Where do you think we are, Paula?  What makes English Peas so much more canned than American peas?  Are American peas no good enough for you?  It's people like you who are sending our jobs overseas.  Our good honest pea farming and canning jobs, straight over to the imperialistic Brits! How dare you. 

But I digress.  I also enjoyed the posts by MARN, DESTROYER OF WORLDS.  MARN had posted on all three of these recipes describing the difficulties of cooking even these simple dishes on a GALACTIC BATTLECRUISER:

I AM MARN, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS. ALL SHALL TREMBLE IN MY PRESENCE.

PAULA, I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS:

DO I ADD THE BUTTER BEFORE OR AFTER I INSERT THE CANNED PEAS INTO THE VENTOBULATION MACHINE?

HOW MUCH CHEESE DO I ADD? WHY ISN'T THERE ANY CHEESE?

LASTLY, USUALLY WHEN I PUT SOMETHING IN A CAN AND DRAIN IT, IT IS A POLITICAL PRISONER FROM JARNAXX. I DO NOT EAT IT. YOU'RE TELLING ME TO EAT IT? ARE PEAS LIKE JARNAXXIAN POLITICAL SOLDIERS?

So, I thought I'd give it a try and create my own celebrity recipe despite the fact that I don't have any celebrity status (despite the uproar my hair has caused at work) and that I am totally unqualified to write recipes (although it obviously looks like I'm more than qualified by these recipes). 

Cleveland Style Nutty-Jam Finger Sandwiches
Cook time: 5 min     Difficulty: easy    Yield: 2 servings

Ingredients:

-2 slices of white bread (approx 48 grams)
-4 oz Strawberry Jam
-3 oz of Peanut Butter, chunky style

Directions:

Lay out both slices of bread.  Using a butter knife spread the strawberry jam on one slice of bread and the peanut butter on the other slice of bread.  Combine slices of bread with spread sides facing each other.  Cut sandwich half and then cut those halves in half again.  Crust may be removed if preferred. 

Variations on recipe: replace strawberry jam with grape or raspberry or current jam if you are feeling adventurous.  Replace either jam or peanut butter with bananas or other fruit if desired.  Replace chunky peanut butter with smooth variety.  Replace white bread with bread of your choice (rye is not recommended). 

Check back again for Pan Fried Buttered Bread and Cheese Dippers with Cream of Tomato Soup.

Cooking week 1, Corn Muffins



The dry ingredients

 So, first week of cooking something from scratch in 2011 (I need a catchy name for it...I'll have to think on it...any suggestions?) and I decided to make Alton Brown's Creamed Corn Bread.  So, I get all excited, I get all the stuffs I'll need...and I don't have a 10" cast iron skillet.  So...I do a little back step and find this recipe on the internet for creamed corn muffins.   I took lots of pictures this time, you'd be proud of me.  I'm going to try to take  many pictures when I make this stuff so you can see step by step how it goes. 


Plus the wet ingredients, it looks kinda icky...

 So, it's a pretty quick recipe, which was perfect for this week, I just have not had any time to do stuff... I wanted to make pork but that didn't happen, the pork was spoiled in the vaccuum sealed package when I opened it and I almost had a fit.  I actually took it upstairs to Ry who was getting ready for work (it was gonna be a crock pot dinner) and asked him what I should do, telling him it came from Walmart so he should fix it.  I was tired, what can I say?

Ready for the oven

Anyway.  I get the muffins all cream corned up and ready to go in the oven and bake them for the approriate amount of time and they look good. Asher and I watched them cook in the oven with the light on.  He kept saying "muffin!".  How are babies so cute?  I have no idea. 

Anyway, we get them out and they look GOOD!  I'm pretty excited and so I let them cool down, butter the top and take my first bite...and they are bland.  As bland as can be.  And I'm sad.  As sad as can be.  They were minorly redeemable with some honey.  But they look damn awesome, don't they?  I think I'll experiment with this recipe in the future.  But just look how awesome these look.


Out of oven

They look delicious.  Just like the cake, it's a lie.

So, that was the cooking experiment for this week.  Any suggestions for future weeks?  Hit me up in the comments section with a link or telling me where to get the recipe and I'll give it a shot. 


Don't I look delicious?  I'm not.