Showing posts with label Chuck Norris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chuck Norris. Show all posts

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies"

Good morning.  It's Sunday, I'm trying to get work done but everything seems to be getting in the way so I decided to take a time out and just write a quick blog. 

I feel a weird sense of camaraderie with other people who I see driving around at 6:30am on Sunday mornings.  I think it's that there really is no good reason to be driving at that time of day unless you are a: going to work like I am (working early Sunday mornings is both nice in a way and sucks hardcore) b: super dedicated to God which, if that's your thing, cool, c: bored, can't sleep, etc., and thus out driving for the hell of it or d: other.  It doesn't matter which option you have chosen above for driving that early on a Sunday morning, you are there, with me, and we share something that I don't share with anyone else on any other day of my commute. 

Here are some fun Chuck Norris one liners.  Reason being the one in my title today is one I posted on a friend of mine's brother's facebook a long time ago and somehow he just read it yesterday.  That is amusing, I think.  It's sort of (but not really) like finding something you thought you lost, it just makes you smile.  So, in honor of that, here are some Chuck Norris one liners. 

  • Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
  • On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
  • Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
  • The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.