A small pause with an oddness and a stillness that felt...ominious

Sooooo.......

Just got back from volunteering at a fund raiser preparation thingy for Asher's school.  With a bunch of rich mommies.

Guess who's feelings of self worth are about.... nonexistent.  I was hoping to make some friends or something but I couldn't really find anything to talk to these women about. I overheard conversations about how only having one maid really means you don't have time to do anything and about which private soccer coach is the best.

Where do I jump into that conversation? Oh, hey ladies.  I know how hard it is to only have one maid.  I mean, mine is a super mega bitch, too.  She tells my kids what to do all the time and makes her husband..eh-hem, I mean she makes my husband clean the cat box and sometimes do laundry.  I'd really get rid of her if she also didn't double as our wet nurse.  Maybe after Seiry is weaned we can fire her and find someone more... efficient and dependable and nice. Cause man, she really can be a bitch.

Oh man, now I totally fit in.  Oh wait, did you think I actually talked to anyone?  I tried twice and felt awkward and unwanted so I just worked and listened.  Oh, and did I mention that no one would work by me for like an hour, like I have poorness leprosy and man, I'm pretty sure we just saw her nose fall off.  Don't say anything.  No, don't look.  Oh, you looked.  Did she see you look?  Probably not, I heard that poor people don't eat very well and I see she has glasses.

We are not poor by the way.  I mean, we aren't rich but we do okay.  But...going home from the hostess's house to our house, which is only a few roads away, made me feel that if any of those women drove down my street they would lock their car doors as they drove by.

Sorry.  I'm sure these were nice ladies and that they would be very accepting of me.  But I am kind of shy, I really can be, especially around other women.  And it was stressful and intimidating and it helps to make fun of it.