though my record will say it, no one will play it

Because, you know, sad songs and waltzes aren't selling this year.

I saw this user generated article on Cracked.com about life statistics and I thought I'd like to generate some statistics for my life.

My life:

• 11447 days old (1635.3 weeks)
• 1,052,800 grains (weight) see what I did there with my water math?
• Number of times I've contracted parasites by choice: 2
• Years spent in school: 19
• Cost of 19 years of school: 
• k-12 in a public school system (averaged)=$54,963 (Thanks tax payers)
• 2 years part time at a community college studying Japanese = $2000
• 4 years plus 2 summers at a state college = $40,000
• How much of the college I paid for myself (including grants) = $40,000
• Grand total cost = $96,963
• Average pay before graduation: $6.78 per hour
• Average pay after College graduation: $13.13 per hour
• Age entered the work force (under the table): 14
• Age entered the work force (legitimately): 16
• Number of jobs I've had to date: 14 (alpha, subway, walmart (x4, pharmacy manager, jewelry associate, cashier, customer service manager), NAS, davey tree, college researcher (aquatic invertebrates and neurobiology (x2), leafguard, sea world, water supply, perkins)
• Number of jobs I've been fired from: 0
• Longest stint at any one job: water supply, 5 years

Other stuff: 

• Number of science fiction movie marathons attended: 14
• Number of haunted houses I've visited: 88 (fuzzy math)
• Times I've moved: 11
• Cities of residence: Akron, Ravenna, Streetsboro, Kent, Bedford, Northfield, Twinsburg/Hudson
• Number of homes I own: 2
• Number of homes I want to own: 1
• Pets owned: 
• Dogs: 5
• Cats: 3
• Horses: 0 (I had a major problem with this when I was younger)
• Fish: 25 (fuzzy math)
• Birds: 4 (I hate birds)
• Snakes: 1 (I also hate snakes)
• Cows: 8 (by proxy)
• Guinea Pigs: 1
• Number of nerf weapons currently owned: 10
• Nerf wars (official) held at my house: 3
• Highest level attained in Dungeons and Dragons starting at level 1: 12
• Number of songs I own that are uploaded to the internet: 14,578 

Places I've been (ohio doesn't count): 

• San Francisco/San Jose/Mountain View
• Napa Valley, CA
• Gilroy, CA
• Yokohama, Japan
• Tokyo, Japan
• Kyoto, Japan
• Hiroshima, Japan
• Maui, Hawaii
• Grand Bahama Island
• Orlando, FL
• Pittsburg, PA
• Middle of nowhere PA
• Covington, KY
• London, KY
• Nashville/Clarksville, TN
• NYC/Queens/Brooklyn
• Lake Chataqua, NY
• Niagara Falls, Ontario
• Toronto, Ontario
• Washington, D.C.

This was fun but I'm sure you've had enough.  If not, though, let me know what other statistics you'd like to know.