Half remembered rumors of the old

I was waxing melancholy this morning about old times and old friends.  My best friend from high school's birthday was last week and I was thinking about her this morning.  I would love to reconnect with her but we were already such different people before we parted high school that I wonder if we could ever really
reconnect the way we had in high school.

Remember when I used to write really witty and interesting stuff on here?  Yeah, me either.

I'm running my next 5k on labor day.  Cheer me on, would ya?

I have been thinking about myself a bit lately, ways to improve and what's wrong with me.  I need to focus on what's right with me probably.  There's quite a bit wrong. *shrugs*.  I have recently discovered I am really good at being empathetic but really bad at reading people's emotions, if that makes sense.  I found that I project my own insecurities and low self esteem on other people which makes me feel that they are already disappointed in me and that I need to make it up somehow.  Apparently this is not the case, which, like I said, I just discovered. (hey, we self discover our whole lives, no judging...I'm looking at you...you know who you are, judgy-judy...).  So, I'm gonna try to remember that and stop being so overly sensitive.  Also, I have a pretty bad swearing problem.  Or maybe it's not a problem?

You're supposed to pull me like the sun pulls the earth

In a world without me, is it a better place?  In a reality where I was never born or something, is it better? How can you tell?

My personality is ENFJ.  It seems to be pretty accurate for me, except for maybe the getting people to do what I want them to do, that almost never seems to happen and it says that I should be pretty good at that. Do I get under your skin?  It says I do that, too.  Maybe I'm overbearing and that's how I get under your skin.  Here's a quick list
Some common ENFJ characteristics include:

• Prefers harmony to discord
• Outgoing and warm-hearted
• Genuinely interest in the feelings of others
• Often have a diverse range of friends and acquaintances
• Great at supporting and encouraging others
• Excellent organizers
• Seek approval from other people

or this one, which I feel pretty strongly about: 

ENFJ in a Nutshell

ENFJs are idealist organizers, driven to implement their vision of what is best for humanity. They often act as catalysts for human growth because of their ability to see potential in other people and their charisma in persuading others to their ideas. They are focused on values and vision, and are passionate about the possibilities for people.

ENFJs are typically energetic and driven, and often have a lot on their plates. They are tuned into the needs of others and acutely aware of human suffering; however, they also tend to be optimistic and forward-thinking, intuitively seeing opportunity for improvement. The ENFJ is ambitious, but their ambition is not self-serving: rather, they feel personally responsible for making the world a better place.

Possible ENFJ Weaknesses

• Can harbor hurt feelings
• Tendency to manipulate
• Tendency to smother
• Blames self when things go wrong

Are you done reading about my sad sad personality yet? 

But my eyes are open, yeah, they're really open

It has been a good weekend.  It's crazy how I go from low to high and back.... regardless....

I ran my first 5K yesterday, Cleveland's Run or Dye that I got as a groupon.  Ry ran with me and I wish I had coordinated better because my friend from work Robert was there and he should have run with us too.  We did meet up afterwards but...that's just a reason that he has to run another 5k with me, right? Right.

Anyway.  I know you have already seen these photos more than likely but I'm putting them up for my own record, you know?

I don't think I got nearly colored enough.  Or maybe I sweat it all off....

These are the dirty feet that made it happen...

There was a tie-dye after party. 

Aw yeah, glow team running for the win!

So...I'm looking for another 5k in september and one in october I think.  I had so much fun.  I was also so proud of myself because I ran the whole thing and I felt like I could have run even more.  The course was pretty flat and that made it pretty easy.  And it was right by the lake, so it was nice and breezy and beautiful.  Very nice.  

We are thinking about buying ryan a Ford C-Max.   He's freaking over the price, which is usually my job, so I don't know what happened in crazy reverse world.  I think we are going to buy it anyway.  He deserves a nice car and we could really use something with really good fuel economy. His Malibu..well, it's not a hybrid.

Lot's of good things happening this weekend.  I'm feeling good from yesterday still.  I had a pretty nice pampered chef party even though I didn't think I would (due to people not coming).  The kids were really good and I read an article telling me to stop rushing them with my A type personality and they are right.  So I'm  trying not to rush them...as much....we still have things to do, you know?  

We also have two girls available to babysit now, which is exciting.  Two potential babysitters.  So I have one lined up for the wedding which is nice.  And maybe for those days when Rosie can't watch them.  I'm in a good place right now.  

I am thinking about getting the 23 and me tests for ry and myself.  I will post some of the results here when we get around to doing it and stuff.  

And....Halloween is slowly approaching....I can't wait to make the haunted house list for this year.  You're coming, right? 

  

Cause lately I've been seeing things I cannot believe

Just a short post.  Lots of depression lately.  Not sure if it's just regular depression or if it's from me being over-reacty or something.  Feeling isolated and alone.  It's so weird, there are so many people around and they are all lonely.  I don't know how to meet people.  I wouldn't think I'm shy but I guess I am a bit.

I'm running my first 5k this saturday.  I'm not ready.  I don't think I ever will be.  I lost a lot of fat from running so I'm proud of how I look which is why I keep running, ...I've been running for the last 8 months, but I still only run about 2-2 1/2 miles before I am not good at the running anymore and decide to move on to the walking and then stretching (sometimes) and sitting (always) afterwards.  I need to be better.  But....I'm not.  Sorry, myself, that you are disappointed in me.  Or that I'm disappointed in you, but you is me.  You get it.

I'm gonna go shower.