Tuesday, December 27, 2016

oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree

How lovely are your branches, especially the day after Christmas when I see you on the side of the road barely inside the largest trash bag that family owned.

What did these evergreens ever do to you?
I don't get real Christmas trees now. I get them back before artificial trees, I guess. (Not really, but I'm going to pretend I do for simplicity's sake.)

Here's what I don't get about Americans choosing real trees over artificial trees (which are more green, contribute less to global warming and CO2 levels, provide habitat for all sorts of critters and look real nice in a forest).

Xmas is supposedly all about love and and light and life, unless I misunderstood that part. So...let's everyone go cut down a tree (it wasn't doing anything to you, by the way) shake out all the things that lived in it, bring it into your house and plant it in a modified vase like a really, really big flower ridiculous looking flower. Then, you will put all sorts of decorations on it, because naked trees are shameful and disgraceful. Once you open all the presents under the tree (you can't open presents unless there is a real tree who died for your sins), then we take it out, even if it still looks good, and throw it like rubbish on the curb.

Sounds like a bum deal to me. Cold and heartless. Good thing trees don't have feelings or emotions. Cause if they did...well, let's just most people would enjoy Christmas a little less than they do now, with the trees begging for their lives to be spared and the constant low level hum of despair as our real trees count down the days as they slowly die in our house. Or even better, the screams and cries of agony as they await their doom on the curb. Or in a fire.

You are all monsters.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

I wanna be the girl with the most cake

I just discovered yesterday that you aren't supposed to put two spaces after a period when you are writing. I have been doing it my whole life and I have to stop and think so that I don't do it automatically now. When did this become a thing? How did I never know about this my whole life?

Why didn't anyone correct me?

Apparently it's been a thing since 2003 or something. Now I just feel stupid. I write. A lot. I have a whole lot of sentences to go back and correct. Even now, I keep double spacing after my sentences, then backspacing to fix my mistake.

Grammar girl says it's easy to stop doing. She is a liar.

That's all. I just wanted to say, how did I not know this was a thing? Shook my whole world. Like, one day, I realize that I thought I saw all these beautiful colors, but really there are like fifteen instead of just the 9 in the rainbow, and everyone can see them except for me, but now I can, but only if I squint just right and think about it really hard.

Just makes me want to only write really long, really convoluted run-on sentences like the last one there.

Again, how did I not know this!? I really feel like everyone was just snickering at me behind my back. 'Oh, you know Penny. The one whose sentences really need to be separated. Her parents must have divorced, you know, for her to need all that extra space. Really is a sign of a bad upbringing.' Snicker, snicker.
'Poor Penny, some ones should really tell her her character limits would be less excessive if she just single spaced after her periods.'
'Did anyone tell her that she is making a social fopaux with every sentence she writes?'
 'I'm not telling her! You tell her!'
'Goddammit, now it's too late to tell her. She's been doing it for too long, we missed the opportunity and now it will just be awkward.'

At least, that's how it went inside my head just now. Just saying, from now on...just one space after a period. Period.

*Edit...Also just discovered ctrl-H, find and replace. Not so bad to go back now and fix my mistakes in my writing. People who program this stuff are so awesome. Thank you, unsung programmer who made ctrl-H a thing*

Friday, December 16, 2016

I don't care I don't care if I'm losing my way

Good morning, good evening, and if I don't see ya, goodnight.

I'm wondering about putting my book up on a blog.  Chapter by chapter.  I'd love to have some feedback.  Maybe a tublr or something.  I dunno.  I'm open to suggestions.  I don't want to self publish, but I also long for someone else to give me feedback on it.

I miss the traffic I get from facebook on here.  I wonder if I got ryan to post my blog posts if people would come talk to me.  I miss facebook a little, it's been about six weeks of no facebook at all.  I don't miss facebook, let me clarify.  I miss seeing people i care about and their posts.  I don't miss the bullshit.  I also don't miss feeling like a slave to my phone with need to check it all the time.

Our work xmas party was yesterday.  My employees, surrounded by a ton of other people, even when they were playing cards, had to check their phones constantly.  If there was even a second of free time, they were thumbing their phones.  I don't want to be like that, and I don't want my kids to be like that.

Just booked tickets to Atlanta for Dude's bday.  Should be fun.  We are going to a dungeon.