Friday, May 31, 2013

Whoa, where did the party go?

This blog post was going to be all sorts of things.  It was going to talk about the trauma of breaking Rosie's finger in the car door and that whole drama, of hurting my knee, of the failure to be an independent woman with children.  All sorts of things.  I actually wrote a well thought out blog in my head on my drive home from work before I got the kids yesterday.  I thought it was good.  I have no idea what it said now, because my memory sucks in the worst kind of way, as all of you know.

I think this one is going to be random and touch on my depression (honestly, who isn't depressed?) and my general lack of stuff.  Not physical stuff, like most people we have lots of stuff.  Of stuff, like you know, the ability (or lack thereof) to manage all of my work load with the current small (but amazing) staff that I have.  The ability (or lack thereof) to manage my home life with my crazy (and awesome) family.  Of feeling isolated in a place where I have lots of friends and family.  I know that what happened the night I broke Rosie's finger was one of those weird situations where no one was around but it left me feeling isolated and alone and unimportant.  And I know that my family is now upset with me.  But I'm upset and I feel I have a right to be upset.  But...of course I don't.  Whatever.  I don't really want to air it all on the internet.  I just was putting it out there to explain my depression and isolation.  I especially feel isolated when ry is out of town.

At work....apparently I'm a spaz (suprise!) and I (what's the word for taking on too many projects at once?) am a task driver or something.  I wish I could not be so much of a spaz but it's me.  I am like that.  I also need to learn to just not say stuff.  I speak true, I speak what I feel but I also only say stuff that I don't think would hurt that persons's feelings because it's important to me that my actions are not the cause of someone else's hurt. I do sometimes (probably more often than I realize) say things that do hurt people, I'm just an inconsiderate jerk sometimes I guess.   I live like this in my personal life as well, which is the reason I have trouble communicating  sometimes.  I just can't come out and say things that need to be said because I know they will hurt the person's feelings.  So, one more reason I suck.  Also, I am easily frustrated, but I try to control myself.

Anyway, I have to get back to being a medium to fair parent and medium to fair watershed super.  And with this blog post that I am writing while taking care of childrens as well, well, I'm obviously well organized in my thoughts and stuff, too.


Thursday, May 9, 2013

Look how pretty she is when she falls down

So, lots of stuff has happened and I haven't had time to write.  I still don't really have time to write but I wanted to do it so I am.  Asher currently has pneumonia and I think I might have gotten it from him.  Or maybe just seasonal allergies that make my throat hurt and my lungs heavy and itchy.  I don't want to go to the doctor.  I always feel like I'm wasting their time, you know?  There are lots of other people who are much worse off than I am.  Anyway, it's obviously a self worth issue that I need to work on. 

So, we went to California a few weeks ago.  It was so nice.  I almost had to throw some punches at the airport due to rude ass bitches and "sequestration" (because we had to fly during the only week of sequestration...).  Cleveland Hopkins airport doesn't have a "family" security lane like most all other airports.  So we ended up waiting in a 2 1/2 hour security line, negating the 2 hours early arrived to the airport.  I asked for the family line and the TSA agent looked at me like I was some type of slime mold on his shoe.  I was sure we were going to miss our flight and I was freaking out a bit.  Asher and Seiry were out of their minds in line, which is why there is a line for families, so other people don't have to be subjected to your horrible monsters when they lose their shit.  Anyway, finally a hospitality guy at the airport grabs me gently by the shoulder and puts us in the "first class" security lane.  We bust through security and run the Lent of the airport all the way down to the gate where our United flight was getting ready to leave. 

Now, I bought a non stop flight with business class seats.  It was more expensive but Ry is tall and I was sitting with a baby on my lap.  I felt my sanity was worth the extra money.  The airline thought we were just throwing money around cause we are awesome.  Not the case.  We get to the gate, the airplane is fully loaded and almost leaving.  "Whoo....just in time" i thought to myself.  Then ryan's ticket beep-booped and the lady told him to go to the desk.  And that lady (who will will call Sassy Sally or SS from here on out) assigned him a seat 11 rows away from me and both kids in coach. 

Here's the dialog:
Me: that's not gonna work.  I paid for extra for these tickets and I am not sitting without you with our kids
Ry: What should I do?
Me: Make her fix it
Ry: We paid for business class
SS: Well, you should have gotten here sooner.  Someone else is in that seat now.

Here is about where my temper was eroded away by security, kids, airports in general, the impeding loss of our flight and one bitchy and unhelpful sassy sally.....

Me: No.  I am not getting on this plane until he is sitting next to me.  No one wants to sit next to me and two kids.  No one.  Believe me.  You are going to fix this.  It's your job.
SS: Do you want me to fix this (as rudely as someone can say this.  The snark level was through the roof:
Me: YES! I do!  (duh?)
Ry: And you can do it without all of the attitude, too. 

She pecked angrily at the keyboard for a while then says "I have to go move the person from their seat".  And I said, " you mean from our seats.  Thanks!"

Oh...the anger.  I was so angry.

Anyway.  Then our flight sat on the tarmac for 30 more minutes due to sequestration (planned waiting) which means that we would have missed our flights had we not been taken out of line by that nice hospitality guy and the plane would have still been there!  FUUUUUUUUU.

California was awesome, as usual.  Too short, though.  I miss the Cali crew bunches already. 

We had this weight loss thing at work, 16 weeks that started back in January.  Unfortunately, even though I ran and lost some weight and got into the best shape of my life (even better than beach body insanity times but only because I did beach body...)I still lost.  I only had 6% body fat loss.  So, sad for me.  But I'm now training to run a couple of 5Ks.  And I have a fitness coach and a nutrition coach.  So, good for me.  I need new goals so I keep running.  I haven't been running this week because my lungs are itchy but I'll pick it up soon. 

Anyway, really gotta go to work.  Later gaters.